8 April 2019> Not sleeping so well in Baltimore, small soft bed (we like 'em hard) + all sorts of noise below on the street. Had to call front desk 1 night cuz the couple next to us was fighting, sum chick screaming, sounded like he was hitting her, stuff being thrown around, etc. she was yelling at him that he "got blood on the walls". Not leaving the hotel much except to run or eat ceviche at Puerto 511 (perty dam good). Explored the Locust Point area yesterday which we'd never really been to before, all the way to Fort McHenry, the birthplace of the star-spangled banner.
9 April> We was in a traveling circus or sum sorta band of vagabonds, but had lost our pack, so was trying to reconnect. We saw sum freaks paraiding thru town on various forms of transportation (unicycles, Birds, Penny-farthings, etc.), juggling + performing various tricks. We recognized sum of them so joined the paraid. We was in search of a plaze to sleep for the noche. A sub-group we just happened to be associated with splintered off down a side street that dead-ended. We spotted the larger migration on the other side of a cyclone fence, but these 2 hobo punks leading us had other things in mind. They opened the door of a car pertending they were using it to climb over the fence, but we knew they had other intentions, bad 1s, so started to walk away + just then the bearded owner of the car came out of his house. He could tell that we had planned to disassociate ourself before we saw him so he let us go. We heard a commotion behind us but didn’t even want to know what was going on, didn't want to be a witness or accomplice to the crime. From the sounds of it, the 2 hobo punks got the upper hand. The leader 1 was celebrating + posturing, but then we didn’t hear the other beta 1, who was a nice guy. Then the alpha hobo punk noticed the lack of reaction + started calling out the beta punk’s name, saying “wake up, wake up,” like the beta hobo punk had died. We couldn’t catch up to the larger group but came across an abandoned squat + poked our head into a room full of sleeping bodies. They were vagabonds, but not our tribe... they were pertty funny tho, acting like they wanted us to join up with them. Then we heard what sounded like [our brother Ulysses] saying “bayor” [what our bedder-½ calls us]. He was a little kid tho, that looked like me [a.I./Telemachus]. Out band was camping out in the open in an exposed spot near the entrance to the camp. Our bedder-½ was saying it was gonna be hard to work in this spot, to make phone calls w/ all the K-OS going on. This other guy was like “i make calls all the time here, it’s no big deal.” Our bedder-½ aksed, “what do u do for a living?” The guy looked confused, “this. This is what i do.”
Witch REMinds us... maybe in addition to transcribing our ℝeel-moondough journulls akey on The Daily Noose, we shd also be archiving our sueños? Many of our dreams we already transcribed as we was putting together Poste Restante (2006), which are stories based on these sueños. Like our ℝeel-moondough journulls, we have them archived in individual Word docs which we now can't open, unless we use a text editor + grab the txt of the d'ream from the garbled mess, so it's an exorcise we shd probly do anyway so we don't 1 day lose them altogether. And here on Inurnet they'll be ezier to search thru + axessible for prosperity sake. Wheel start w/ sum stray 1s from the '80s, before we more diligently started logging our dreams. Embarassing as sum of them may be, we won't bother to edit them, or change names... doubt anyone 'sides us will read these anyway + if u do, remember, they're dreams, they don't mean nada. This 1° one we wrote as a pome for sum reason (for comparison, this "dream" became "Six and a Half Feet Below Sea Level" in Poste Restante.
May 1, 1985 – Mountain View, CA
Eyes upon me
Tearing me apart
Startes that put me on the shelf
Razor blades on rooster legs
I stumbled on our company and wondered where it came from.
Atmosphere of eyes and voices
Just wouldn’t leave me open
The door was cold on my shaking hands
Confused glances followed in my footsteps
Covered up by waves of intellect
The door turned into a carriage
Three bags of skin with featureless faces
Back through the gates of the restaurant
Automatic pepper sprinkler
Made me think
Heres where I meet the man in gold
Russian dancer dancing low
Under the glitter of pepper
He turned to me, I turned to him
No sign of transition
The pepper turned to gold dust
Gold coins from blurred smiling faces
I let myself go
The green walls beckoned me
Taking me from my golden world
In between was black
With head on the ground
The green room was empty of people
But still full of obligations
May 21, 1985 – Mountain View, CA
A man I presumed to be my father waded through the water in his navy uniform to board a ship. He climbed aboard soaking wet and went over to salute the captain. His mind wandered, (I should know, I turned into him). I envisioned a fight on the other end of the ship and thus caused it, a sort of déjà vu. I was wandering through this little town similar to Ajijic, but in Panama. I was a boy, like 6 yrs old. I came across a group of kids who I at first thought were beating up on other kids. I was forewarned that they would beat me up. I went to take a closer look and saw what they were actually doing. They were grabbing arms and forming a large circle. They would sling forward towards the center and smash their heads together as hard as they could. Their was 2 groups doing this and they were doing it over and over. I began to run through the streets of cobblestone. I was a little lost.
I finally found where the ship was. I swam out, they were impatiently waiting for me. The ship was no longer a navy cruiser but was like a Toyota pickup. They had me climb in back despite the coldness. The driver was very authoritative, I think he was the captain. There were 2 other people, one I think was my father. As we drove along the lake, I kept asking questions like “what lake are we in” and the captain acted really impatient with me like I was ignorant and didn’t like my questions. We were in Lake Nicaragua and the snow-capped mountain in the background was Mt. Kilimanjaro. I asked how far the mountain was. The captain finally told me to shut up. It wasn’t cold although there were patches of snow on the shores. We were then playing foosball in the well of the ship (it got longer). The captain felt really immature playing and gave up in the middle of the game. I sat by myself and I had no one to play with.
Exhibit P. Surfing the Wheelhouse—image to accompany "HittingFrom the Wheelhouse"
(story in Poste Restante that the above dream is based on)
October 3, 1985 – Palo Alto, CA
I was sleeping. Mom tried to wake me up. She kept pulling on the blankets but I just couldn’t get up, my body felt like sandbags. I realized I had to make up an excuse why I couldn’t get up. So I said I was sick. She said she was sorry. Then she said that I had “smashing underwear”. I was embarrassed. I thought she was reading my dream journal. I tried to pull my covers up to go back to sleep when I realized I had no underware on. She was trying to put my bed back together. I told her to just forget about it. I had a funny looking square scab protruding from my finger. I woke up in real life.
March 23, 1986 – Palo Alto, CA
I lived on a farm at first with my dad, but he seemed to be non-existent. We were totally self-sufficient and even had geese. We had forests around us that were all full of traps, so our dog, who talked, had to be real careful. We were going around to all these houses looking for work. All of them had dogs like Chester and Misty that scared us at first but were friendly. The last house we were looking for work a painter answered the door with a handful of Dalmatian puppies and let them go. There were tons more in the garage where we were. He said there was no job for Susie [our X]. The father of the house was making sure he said no. We spied on them afterwards and watched as they laughed at us, evilly.
March 24, 1986 – Palo Alto, CA
We—Susie and I and all her friends—had a plan to blow up this supermarket with a nuclear bomb. We waited in the house while Susie went to get the bomb. We were walking around thinking about how we should save, I was just a tag along with all these sketchy looking guys, one of them being Paz [her X]. They decided to pick up these girls they found and save them. They were riding naked on horses and blocking traffic jumping on cars. They had a van and they pulled out mattresses and motioned all the guys to come. Then they threw all the mattresses back in. We all got in to drive back to the supermarket where Susie was going to drop the bomb. We had 10 minutes to get out once the bomb was dropped. The girls were all giving the guys head and doing other sleezy things. They would grab my butt from behind and I would tell them to get away. They all laughed at me. I crawled into a ball and waited. I fell asleep.
I woke up to a flash but it ended up not being the bomb. It was just the stars twinkling in the evening sky. Everybody else was asleep. I told them all to wake up. It ended up Paz was helping Susie with the bomb. Then I saw the real bomb come around a corner. I got out of the van and started running. I saw all these people go by including Paz. Half a block behind him was Susie. I ran really fast and yelled her name. I felt kind of stupid and heroic, like everyone would think I was an idiot. She kept running and I fell behind. I could barely keep up with her. We jumped in and hugged as the van took off.
Earlier in the dream I was walking with Susie and we stopped. I was writing stuff on the walls. I saw a cop so I put the pen in my pocket and we started walking. I threw the pen in the bushes as the cops pulled over. They told us all to stop. They walked a half a block behind us and found and empty fill container. They said we were under arrest. I argued and laughed and told them how ridiculous they were. But after a while I gave up and let them arrest us because I thought it would be funny and a joke to the justice system once the public heard about it. I cut them down and they just ignored me. I asked them if they had anything better to do like find drunk drivers and criminals and killers. He said no.
January 13, 1987 – Palo Alto, CA
Chato [cousin-in-law] was driving a large truck. There were a lot of house outlets, I was trying to figure them out. I accidentally turned off the one hooked to his radiator that was flushing it out. I was impressed by the powerfulness, immensity and brilliance of the engine. I put as much pressure as I could through it. In the warehouse I hooked up a workbench to some strange hook on the ceiling. Some lady came and asked to see some trunk. We opened it up and there was some of Maya’s [our X's little sister] stuff in there. She was looking for something but I forget what. She saw one of Susie’s modeling notebooks. There were a bunch of faceless covers from Cosmopolitan, then some pictures of Susie. There there were a couple that were the same (flapper dress picture) except her clothes were off. Susie and I were both embarrassed and tried to change the page quickly. But then they got more pornographic (but not of Susie). I went into a warehouse that was completely empty and started playing harmonica. Then I turned on an amp and let it feedback and played the harmonica in tune to that. Susie came in and I was embarrassed.
January 15, 1987 – Palo Alto, CA
Susie had all her cousins at her house. We rented trucks. Susie’s dad said there were all these protestors and vandals by Page Mill road. The air force was causing supersonic booms and making noise after they were warned. So all these people were protesting, so we went to check it out. We all went up on horseback. I rode bareback, it felt good to ride. I could feel the horse under me like a machine. We drove by this creek. I was psyched to swim in it and wondered why we’d never swam it in it before. There were all these fish in it and everything. I rode in on “Never” and asked why we never swam in there. Judy [our x's mom] laughed at me and said it was sewage water. Then we were in this magnificent turquoise canyon with striated walls of different shades of blue. It turned into a sort of shop for jewelry and stones. The trail led into this 45 degree ramp made of sheer marble. It was very hard to get up and I had to carry the horse, Never.
Then we were in a modern home, we had to go through these people’s home to get up to Page Mill. I heard somebody outside and went out to check. Some guy had an axe and asked permission to hunt around the house. I got irate and told him to fuck off. There was this little antelope the size of a Chihuahua and this man was trying to kill it, but the antelope wouldn’t leave the house. He ran after it with his axe. I jumped on his back and tried to stop him and at the same time tried to call Susie to see this magnificent creature and to call her dad to help me beat up this intruder. But no one came. I finally drove him away, but then there were all these other hunters. I screamed at all of them to go away. Some lady said “you don’t know who you’re screaming at, I’m the head of (some San Jose organization) and you are breaking the law.
Then we went into the chicken coop. Susie’s cousins had rented 10 movies. the Gwyneveres were there recording music. It was awful and they asked my opinion. They were acting professional and everything. I told them there was too much reverb on the voice. Then I saw the strange jackalope animal again. I tried to run after it. It ran into the other part of the chicken coop. When I got there, there was a gerbil. There were also a few dozen animal cages that were broken but fixable.
Then Susie and I were at the beach. There was some old lady sitting next to us. This old man came up as if he was an old acquaintance. We didn’t think much of it. Then he told her she had big tits and beautiful turgouise eyes. She turned around and said they were gray. He then bent over slouched over and began caressing the old lady and feeling her breasts. The lady started crying and telling him to go away. There were all these people watching but no one said anything.
I told him he was a dirty old pervert and to leave her alone. Then everybody joined in and ganged up on him, calling him names and ostracizing him. We told him to go jack off somewhere else and he stood there naked with a little bean as a dick. It felt good to tell him off, especially since we were not alone and he stood there looking pathetic. But we also felt sorry for him.
January 16, 1987 – Palo Alto, CA
We were all at the La Jolla beach and tennis club. Susie, Thad and I were sleeping in the living room. We woke up because the walls were hot. We ran outside and saw that the whole place was on fire. Judy and Maya were upstairs where the fire was coming out of one of the corners. Barry came along and said “oh shit, I left those steaks broiling on high, that’s the way you have to cook them you know.” I ran upstairs to get Judy and Maya. They were very casual about it, as a matter of fact Judy was upset at me for rushing. She said she had to get some things and then she would be down momentarily. Meanwhile the place was in flames. We all got out, there was some other couple there too. There was 3 cars but they opted to cram all 8 of us in 1 car, a ford Fairmont. When Susie and I opted to take another car they all got mad at us so we left the building burning as we split in a squished ford Fairmont.
February 2, 1987 – Santa Cruz, CA
At the entrance to the flea market was a man collecting boiled potatoes with the skin peeling off and soggy. I happened to have some and was going to give them to him except he was charging money to take them. Unless you gave him 10. The principle of it was absurd so I didn’t give them to him. He sent little boys after me to steal the potatoes. The potatoes kind of turned into little mice. I was running around trying to find a place to hide them. I would feign throwing them in some bushes to keep the kids busy looking while I ran ahead and finally got rid of them.
Then we were on a bus ride. Abbey had a twin dog. They followed the bus for many miles at a very high speed. In the end they actually beat us to the depot.
March 11, 1988 – Santa Cruz, CA
I was in Japan and was pushing these sleds in the snow that were supposed to be pushed by sled dogs. They contained orange juice. You to push very hard to get over the hills. I got to a bridge that was all fancy and engraved with the slogan of the Japanese orange juice company. It was very hard to get through the first part of the bridge since the bumps were shaped like waves… but obviously the second half was easy. I got the other side but had to wait for Susanna who was pushing another sled. I saw an old bridge that they used to use and walked out on it. It looked like the bridge from that golf course in Menlo Park. In the middle I saw a pipe way below me. You could piss in it and watch it go through the rest of the pipe. As I was pissing the bridge started to fall apart below my feet. Every plank I stepped on rotted and fell below. I couldn’t move at all and had the feeling of about to fall. I told myself “you can wake up now and you won’t have to deal with this unpleasant experience” I could begin to feel myself in my camper then some voice said to wait for Susie, because she could step where I couldn’t and I could step where she couldn’t.
March 12, 1988 – Santa Cruz, CA
I was in my physics class but there was a stage, like it was a concert. There was a fight or something and everybody in the class ran outside. Peter Scott came back in holding 3-4 kids by the collar. He took them to the front on stage and started saying “why did you do that?” They had evidently committed a heinous sex crime. Then Dr. Scott kept saying, “it’s just a fleshy protrusion” and he dangled his finger in front of them. One of the students was very embarrassed. He hesitated, and then pulled down his pants and said to Dr. Scott that he had "AIDS wounds". Then the other students started pulling down their pants and began giving everybody else examinations. I was thinking there was no way in the world I would pull down my pants in front of the whole class.
March 13, 1988 – Santa Cruz, CA
We were diving on some beach whose entrance was like split canyon but at the beach—so narrow a person could barely fit through and the walls were high. But it widened out as you got into the water. Susie was near the rocks and I said we should get away. We were with other people and they started getting smashed against the rocks. We were looking for some special sponges or something.
I was with Susie in the back yard of Portland. I guess we lived there. The dog kennel that contained Brigette now had 2 kangaroos, a mother and her joey. They ran jumping into their little house and eating the lawn. I was wondering how she reproduced since there was no other kangaroos in the area. She said she had a tracking device and there was another kangaroo 6 miles away and she could tell when he was coming.
Then we were at a house of a deceased man. He had a monkey cage out back with all kinds of monkeys. We went in and the monkeys were jumping all over us and I began to climb around and found I could climb just as good as a monkey.
March 17, 1988 – Santa Cruz, CA
I walked all the way from Ajijic to Tijuana then took a greyhound to Oregon. I went to our mountain cabin in Oregon and came upon the spec house which was still being built. there were so many other new houses I couldn’t find ours. This particular one was very strange, very modern. I went in and who did I see but Jeff and Ñandu [brother + his wife]. There were very surprised but I wasn’t. I said I walked all the way from Ajijic, which was actually the top of Page Mill road (but still in Ajijic) to Oregon. Well, actually I walked from Foothill college to Tijuana then took the bus. They told me Kevin and David [other brothers] were around. As I went through the house there were strange art objects—painted shoes, large panes of plexiglass covered with neon swabs, etc. I acquired a pipe and chain that I carried with me. The place kind of turned into a cross between fantasy house at an amusement park and a modern art gallery. There were strange turnstiles everywhere. Finally I saw Kevin and David and ran to catch them to surprise them. After all, what were the chances that we would be in this particular house in Oregon at the same time. They were very surprised.
March 17, 1988 – Santa Cruz, CA
There was this large group of people running up Machu Picchu [we didn't go to Machu Picchu in real life until 1991], skipping and singing “we’re off to see the wizard …” A little girl kept falling behind, running to catch up and squeeze her way in the middle but would get left behind. As they got closer to the ruins of Machu Picchu, they turned out to be piles of sandbags stacked symmetrically so their shadows looked like ruins. Then I was hitting tennis balls over a fence (we were all talking a break from the production of Wizard of Oz at Machu Picchu). I went up on the balcony and watched the sun set over Santa Cruz. It looked like 2 large red eyes. Then I saw a tiger drinking from a lake. I woke up Susie to see it. It walked right in front of us on the golf green, and was obviously a tiger. But Susie said it wasn’t and it was (like Schrödinger's cat), it was from Foothill Park.
April 4, 1989 – Santa Cruz, CA
I broke Miles’ ski that I borrowed. We were at Boreal and it was all rocks. Then we were at Elva’s house with a bunch of people and I didn’t like eating so I went to look for a new ski. I was still barefoot and had the broken ski and used it like a blind man’s cane until I saw two real blind men and felt bad, like they'd think i was mocking them.
The mall was full of snobby uptight people. Three ladies were wearing furs so I asked them if they liked wearing dead animals on their backs. They said they were synthetic and asked if I wanted to buy one. Embarrassed again.
I was walking with Kevin in Ajijic. This group of guys threw something at us with the intent that we would lift our arms to catch it. Then they would grab what was in our pockets. They didn’t get me, but they all jumped on Kevin and started wailing on him, and someone threw the wallet and I grabbed it and ran for blocks, purposely not to our house (in case they followed me), but another house where I hid them so we could get them later.
Then I took the aerial tram and the guys recognized me and started following underneath. I got off and was suddenly a "family member" and had a normal family. We walked to our Audi or Volvo and the “father” wanted to drive. They were my family, but I didn’t know them.
I was walking with Miles and Elva and this other guy whose name was Leonardo who I think was the funny dancer dude in Kecak. Not only did he spill the beans about me and Elva, Kai and Elva, and Miles and Elva, but it ended up that he was having a relation ship with her. So I just changed the subject and told them about the statistical analysis of eating Thai green curry then running and climbing on phone booths.
May 19, 1989 – Santa Cruz, CA
I was walking a lot. I stopped at Rebirtha's [the lady's house where i parked my camper... i called her "Rebirtha" cuz she did rebirthing/scream thereapy] and just walked into her house and ate 2 bowls of cereal. I was afraid she would hear me wash the bowl, but at the same time I didn’t want to leave any evidence that I had been there. I snuck out. I had an egg with me. It was cracked but I tried to keep everything from spilling out. Someone stole a car and another guy ran out to chase him. A cop came the wrong way and smashed into a telephone pole. I witnessed it all but I didn’t want to be a witness. I kept walking and walking. I felt guilty as I walked through nice neighborhoods, like I was the guy the police were after. I accidentally wandered down this guys driveway that looked like a street. I was still carrying the egg. A guy that looked like Bob Hope pulled up in an El Dorado. He locked up the car behind a fence. He was wearing white gloves and seemed like he was a celebrity. It was his girlfriends house. He didn’t treat me like a vagrant (like I feared) but he did tell me to leave. I felt a desire to get rid of the egg. I wandered into a friend's house. Right as I was about to throw the egg away, he emptied the garbage and took the bag out. So if I put the egg in the garbage can it would have made a big mess. So I threw it down the drain. Somebody was washing dishes and got mad at me.
May 20, 1989 – Santa Cruz, CA
Dad and Shirley [stepmom] came over to Susie’s house. Very vivid. He didn’t give me a hug or even say hello. I tried to talk to him but he was very nervous. He reminded me of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. Kevin was there and had a playboy magazine. We just sat there at a table and I sat directly across from Dad. Somebody asked him a question and he answered but I couldn't understand what was said.
Then someone said Eddie Brickell wrote "What I am" about getting into a UC School, but then she only got into UC Davis so she quit her band.
Nov. 28, 1989 – Santa Cruz, CA
I was at this lake that was in a volcano crater that could of been anywhere in the world. It was cool because you could swim and see nothing but the sky. I wanted it to be deep but it was shallow and sludgy. There were squid and some other strange creatures, a type of shrimp that only lived in this lake. I wanted to go fishing and catch something big. But the lake couldn’t hold big fish. Then it turned into someones flooded bedroom that was up in this watch tower. Me and Susanna and some other people were climbing up the tower when someone threw a body off the top. We were scared so we didn’t go all the way up. It ended up the body was already dead and someone threw it off just to keep us from getting to the top. The top was like the hull of the ship because I was kind of up there anyways.
Poste D. Bioluminescent Freshwater Krill (image from Poste Restante to accompany
"The Inertial Weightof Our Internal Lake" (based on above dream)
[1990-1991 dream journulls]