Sleeping on IT still: a redundant flotilla of raft deepend-ants filling Hindu coefficient gaps


12 April 2019> Dear Inurnet, our web host just informed us dat the servers The Daily Noose lives on are migrating to new digs (featuring the latest Xeon Gold proSSESors, enterprise-grade RAID SSD storedge arrays + optimized 10 gig ethernet inturnal network cunnexions) in a brand-new state of the art datacenter in Boston, MA... so knot onelie is the author of this hear blogject migrating stateside, so is the content, the silicon where this all gets encoded to 0s + 1s + is served up on demand to any 1 visiting this re:sorce locator. B4 dat we was hosted sumware in a Balkan state, maybe Bulgaria, + b4 dat in Hong Kong. In resent dayz we're also living up to our name, posting almost daily, en un jour archiving a month or year's worth of journuls, ℝeel-moondough ore sueño... perty soon our entire life will be arkhived ici! Wheel continue today on le côté de rêve, these dreams logged 1992 –1993:

January 16, 1992 — Tucson, AZ

I was in this big house with windows (I think it was mom's) that was right on the ocean. I remembered being there before and there was a nice beach and the house was on a cliff looking down onto it. The water was 20-30 feet below. Now the ocean was coming up over the cliff, the whole shoreline had changed. The waves were crashing against the windows and there wasn’t even a storm. Kevin [Ulysses in our book] and I were playing soccer out on the ledge. He would jump down to the lower ledge and let the waves crash over him, but managed to not get swept away. He kicked the ball and it was about to go over the cliff, but I saw a red handle so jumped out and grabbed on to it, otherwise I would have died.

Then Arthur [cousin] and I were like spies checking on this abandoned house on this mountain. We saw another flashlight when we got there—teenage vandals. There was a big slope of snow so I jumped and skied (on my shoes) down it. This wasn’t very professional considering I was a spy. But it was fun. The snow turned to ashen lava and I kept going. The vandals made a quick get away on skis. I let them go.

Then Jeff and Ñandu [other brother + his wife] were there. There were 4 ski's between the 3 of us, 1 small, 2 medium + 1 large. I told them to sort them out. She took the 2 mediums.

Jan 20-21, 1992—Tucson

Kimi made me a magic mushroom milkshake but I didn’t want to drink it cuz I was about to go to sleep. But I drank it anyway but don’t remember feeling the effects cuz I was asleep.

Dreamt of fingernail clippings and gorillas. Some witch doctor was gonna do voodoo on me cuz she had my fingernail clippings.

January 24, 1992 — Tucson, AZ

I spontaneously went to NY city for two days with Mom, Kevin and Roger [cousin, the 1 who would go on to win an Oscar] on some buying trip. She had all expenses paid. We checked into this hotel room that was huge, like ½ the size of a football field and there were dozens of different beds scatted around. The bell boy was flustered trying to find which one each of us was allotted to. Roger and Kevin kept talking about the price, they couldn’t believe it was $1168 a night.

I went for a walk by myself. I was walking around and it suddenly occurred to me I was in NY [We'd never been before]. We were only gonna be there for one night. The neighborhood started turning sketchy. A taxi was coming but it just pulled up behind me and followed slowly. I was coming to a tunnel that went back to our hotel (evidently I was in Queens). There was a gang of youths at the entrance with sticks + also 4 policeman (who were actually public service workers, but armed) so I figured I was safe. As I approached, three of the youths jumped me and started hitting me with their clubs. I told them to just chill out and I would give them money in my wallet. When I opened it, I was surprised to see a $100 bill, but I don’t remember where it came from. The gang leader dug right by it and said “that’s for your taxi fare back”. He bypassed the bills and went for the small change, taking all my pennies, nickels and dimes. Then they gave me their sticks.

I started running through the tunnel in case they changed their minds. I ran up this hill and when I was on top I felt okay because I had more potential energy. The tunnel came out in this little funky neighborhood with crooked alleys. Our room was up the stairs over an arch though I didn’t remember it being like that. We were suddenly in Hawaii. Mom was saying there would be a tsunami. We went and looked and sure enough, these long short but very fast waves were approaching and getting huge and sucking the water back. I ran into the back. It felt like mom’s room. The waves crashed the windows in. We tried to open the windows for an escape. I tried to go upstairs. I looked out the window. It was like a hurricane. The house was floating around and we were being swept inward by tidal surges, then it just stopped. I realized that all this surge that came in needed to go out. So I started to swim, but sure enough, we started to get swept out very quickly. The house turned into a raft and then we were just swimming. People were grabbing on to me while I tried to swim, clutching onto my legs and arms. I told them at least let me have free arms so I could swim. More and more people latched on to us and we formed a giant flotilla. I was swimming hard but we didn’t move. Next to me was this older lesbian woman who used band-aids as a bikini top, covering her nipples like Wendy-O Williams. She was telling me that she was Italian and talking about places. Jess appeared and the woman said, “see, I can guess that she’s Italian. But she was hard to guess because she is so small.” Jess became even more petit, but even more beautiful, like a porcelain doll. Then she became this cute baby monkey.

January 27, 1992 — Tucson

Brian, Sather [friends we had in common w/ our bedder-½] and I were in a class. We had to fill out a notebook, it had to do with shading colors and folding squares, etc. Our last assignment was to find Ganesha. We had to "sleep on" this and return to where we were the day before as part of the assignment. It was in this temple/cave I dreamt about before with the chess set. [see December 4, 1991 entry] It was like the interior of a Hindu temple. I had been to this spot the day before where there was a hallway full of very deep water. At the end was a statue but you couldn’t see it too well until you went through. The sides were flanked by Yakshis and other Hindu weirdness. I didn’t think this was the Ganesha statue because it didn’t look like the description in the book. For one, the flanking statues were like 2 little Ganeshas. I got on my elbows on these ledges on either side and swung into the hallway only getting my waist and below wet. I peered my head in and sure enough it was Ganesha in majestic brilliance. I was telling Brian and Sather we had found it when I felt this warm rush down my neck and back. An ecstatic wave swept over me. A numbing tingling down my spine and I let myself fall into the water, completely relaxed.

Jan 30, 1992—Tucson
I followed this Hindu parade. I was very respectful and stayed a distance behind so as not to intrude. The rest of the dream flies away as I try to clutch it.

February 3, 1992 — Tucson

I was with this person who looking back on it must have been Jessica [our bedder-½]. I would speak and she would throw baseballs at my lips. But it was like slapstick comedy. Then it was time for a giant to sleep (still Jess). It laid on this bed and put it’s head on a special pillow that fit it’s head perfectly. Then a gate shut off at the neck and it was locked. This little “head cell” was a special meditation room and this tyrant giant didn’t want to be bothered.

Then I was a little bird. I had access to the giant’s body to get any revenge I wanted, since its head was locked into a cell. I kind of hopped around nonchalantly. I was free to leave. I hopped over to the keyhole of the lock and started peering in. Then I started pecking at the lock. The bird came out of my p.o.v. Now it looked at me saying “no, don’t do that! The giant will wake up and be pissed.” But the bird in me didn’t care. It (me) flooded the room so it could take a bath. It knew they would bug the sleeping giant and that’s why it did it, to get it's attention. I knew if I took a birdbath I would ruffle my feathers and it would spray water on the giant. Oh yah, the lock was made of Styrofoam. I (the bird) could have picked it but it would have made the giant upset.

Then Jess became 2 separate people, one I was having a conversation with. She told me about a brother she had who was in a caving accident, who fell through this crack and got paralyzed. I was shocked she was nonchalant, like “what’s the big deal?” Then I looked at her. It was just Jess with a nice smile on her face that made me happy.

February 3, 1992 — Tucson

I caught a trout in a hot tub and became friends with it. He was a happy trout and told me what it was like to live in a hot tub. I told him about a hole that existed between the hot tub and the pool and he was surprised. Though the hole was too small to fit him through. He was a mountain lion at the same time and I was wondering why he didn’t just run along the top deck to the pool. [seeded "The Myth That You Can’t Get Pregnant in Hot Tubs" in Poste Restante, accompanying image:

Poste F. The Myth Returned as “Undeliverable”

February 19, 1992 — Tucson

I kept going in this cave with Jess. We went room to room (actually it was a castle). We were lighting all the rooms on fire (actually she was the instigator). I was casually trying to stop her. We lit all the rooms on fire and kept going until we were in the watchtower. When I woke up it was flooding + wet w/ hot water.

I went into the cave another time with Eric [cousin], it was his 1st time. so I had to show him around. the 1st room on the right was Susanna’s [x] bed room. “I” (outside of my body) was telling him how I got trapped in there once, ten million tons of bricks fell on me but somehow I didn’t get squished.

Then it was like virtual reality. I was in this user-interactive video game. People were telling me to throw a dagger at this dude, or gas this dude or whatever and I kept going just running around this dungeon.

February 20, 1992 — Tucson

I went to visit Jeff and Ñandu in Argentina. Somebody was with me, I think it was David [older brother]. Jeff was working at a restaurant. David got sidetracked with someone at the door. I figured I’d go in and surprise Jeff. I was wearing a funny black and white suit and a miners helmet. I tried to hide my face but he recognized me right away. He wasn’t that surprised to see me. He just patted my shoulder and said “hi”. I realized it wasn’t really Jeff, but was some Argentinean guy. Jeff was off to the side. Suddenly there was a lot of commotion. I realized the reason Jeff wasn’t too excited to see me was because Ñandu was about to have another baby. She was totally in labor and everybody was around. Then the phone rang. It was for Ñandu. They made her announce that she was accepting full responsibility for disrupting the child birth. She did. It was her gynecologist, some Swedish woman with a thick accent who was apologizing for being on vacation and not being there to deliver the baby.

March 12, 1992 — Tucson

I was at this party with a bunch of gangs and they were engaging in mock fights. 2 groups of 4 or 5 would slap each other with cardboard panels until the losing team gave up. Some guy was asking me how the derivative of a function could apply to fighting. I had to think about this a bit and tried to give a rational answer. The fight ended and the winning team was like “who’s next?”

Each team had members from 1 gang. It was a good sport. There was no way I would fight and besides, my ankle was twisted. Brian’s team volunteered. Brian walked up to the other team and introduced himself, “whasssuppp?” He was very drunk. The other team just kind of stared at him but didn’t say anything. though it was obvious they weren’t going to play fight against him. He got worse. I was trying to figure out how he got so drunk. He was sitting behind me and it appeared like he hadn’t had anything to drink.

Before this I was on a school bus with Mark and someone who I think was Brian. The teacher was trying to give a lecture but no one was listening. Brian was blasting heavy metal tunes. I felt sorry for the teacher so I went up front to see what she was saying but didn’t understand her. There were 4 high school or Jr. high students next to and behind me. One of them leaned over the seat and started making all sorts of comments. “Don’t you like when girls wear bras?” I answered yes then realized in this context it was innapopriate, so I was trying to explain myself. Then she was grabbing her breasts (they were small and firm like Jess’s and she was wearing a blue polka dot sun dress) and saying “do you like my breasts?” I was really embarrassed. So I looked out the window. We were driving by this intense volcano in Bali. It was immense and covered with vivid colors. We were driving very close to it. I said, “wow, look at that volcano” (addressing the teeny bops) and saying “orange is for magnesium, the red is for iron, the white is for silica, … at this point the school bus turned into this party with mock gang fights and Brian was up there ready to fight but he was wasted. He was on his knees and looked like he was about to throw up. I thought he looked really cool, his hair was bright red and disheveled like Johnny Rotten. I got a camera out (I don’t know whose but it had a big telescopic lens and was automatic). At this point Mark was doing this illusion where he would breath fire and smoke at Brian (who was oblivious). Mark would open his mouth and an immense flame would burst forth. It made a great shot. They slowly faded back in perspective until Mark was down below in this town standing at a versateller and Brian was up on a hill to my right in a university. Mark was shooting a flamethrower. Then he shot off a bazooka. We saw this from a distance. The versateller machine blew up, then the university building. with a huge trail of smoke and fire in between.

I snapped a picture and ran forward taking more, thinking how much they would be worth to the newspapers. The backdrop to all these pictures, above the fading trail of fire and smoke, was a small chapel on a volcano and I was thinking how it added to the effect. I was seeing things in a succession of snapshots. Chawn [office-mate + climbing partner] and Jess Sather were behind me. Chawn said “what are you taking, pictures? Those are my friends that just died.” And it occurred to me what had just happened. I was in shock and burst into tears. So was Sather so I gave her a big hug. I held out my arm for Chawn but he didn’t want a hug. I remember tasting Sather’s salty tears and that I had just lost my only friends. Chawn said “I’ve got to go Eegees then go home, do you want a ride?” We had gotten a ride there with Mark and Brian. I started thinking how we could get Mark's keys. Would the police believe me if I said “we need to get the keys out of his pocket” then I was thinking how this was all very traumatic and would give me something to write about in my journal. [this dream got turned into "Field Trip to an Emergent Volcano" in Poste Restante, w/ the correosponding imedge:]

Poste Q. Fijian Field Data

March 26, 1992 — Los Angeles

I was in a restaurant in Palo Alto and we were right under the infamous palo alto or “tall stick”. These two guys were climbing the tree with ropes. They had the rope draped over the next branch up. I pulled the loose end. I didn’t know that it was the same rope they were using to climb the tree. It pulled from the branch but one of the workers caught the end. I was embarrassed and apologized. They ended up throwing it back up and they climbed the Palo Alto.

April 6, 1992 — Tucson

I was driving in my old mustang through a large city. I took a wrong turn and ended up in a parking lot at Safeway. There were a bunch of people and they were all hippie flower children walking with their groceries. There were plywood lockers that you could rent out. The car in front of me was stopping to unload. I was listening to an old mixed tape I made for someone. It had a song of mine that sounded like The Cure, “Yesterday I got so cold I felt like I could die,” then it went into a Blondie song. These girls were commenting on my great choice of music. I told them it was an old tape, I was only listening to it for nostalgic purposes.

I fast-forwarded and got to a Johnny Cash song which they also thought was cool. I moved my car around, they told me to go right to get back on the freeway but I went left. I went to this intersection to make a left but you couldn’t wait in the intersection. I put in the clutch to go in reverse but my right foot got tangled behind my left and I started rolling forward into traffic. Finally I just let the clutch out all the way without gas and I went backwards. It was a hectic intersection. People were selling cigarette singles. Someone like Sather wanted me to get her one but it was too chaotic. My car was sliding sideways and getting in the way. Then I was on a bike. I darted across. Someone in an oncoming car said, “I’ve hit a bike before going 100 MPH, it was like hitting an airplane. It was nothing.” I stopped at this shop (in the Haight). I had been here earlier in the dream, back to the unsafe plywood lockers at Safeway, and this store was the same store but different merchandise. Now they had leather merchandise, hippy leather purses like the one mom used to wear. I wanted to get her one. They had statues of Jack-o-lanterns holders from the Wizard of Oz. I commented to the sales rep that the Jack-o-lantern holders give their bellies to the ones they serve (their bellies pointed out), "just like Krishna" I said, "except he was blue".

April 23, 1992 — Tucson

I went into this old apartment complex where there was a room I had just moved out of. I was with Mom and she was looking for something (I forget what). I still had some junk at this old apartment so I was looking through it. She was being really wishy-washy about how to pay this bill but decided she wasn’t going to pay it so we were leaving and then she’s all "Oh yah, I’m gonna pay" and tells me to "run it in". I licked a dollar bill and fixed it to the bill and handed it to the lady at the counter. Then mom calls me on a phone and says she went to the teller and found out it was her card that was being screwed. Meanwhile there’s some sort of call waiting thing and I know it is not mine and mom is about to hang up because she is at a payphone. She was really annoying me.

May 18, 1992 — Tucson

I had sex with Sather. It wasn’t happening at all, no chemistry whatsoever. It was very awkward. I was feeling her body and she was just staring at me in a strange way. Then we were lounging on a yoga mat on the floor, naked, the door was partly open, the neighbors could see. She was all, "let’s take a nap," but I didn’t feel like it. I got up and went to this party with Jesus and Sean who I ran into at the physics building. Had a few beers then I ran into Sather. She looked at me in the eye and asked me if this meant we would have sex this summer. I said no and she looked at me all rejected. So I was all, "I’m not sure, I’m confused. I don’t want to ruin our friendship." I went off and got a bottle of tequila and little shot glasses and lemon juice and was pouring little drinks. I went into this theatre and Sather was in the front seat, I went and sat next to her. Jesus and Sean were a little behind us. I had an extra shot glass for her and she took it and started pouring herself a drink. By this time I had drunk most of the bottle. I told her to wait til the lights went out. We waited. I fell asleep and woke up and Jess was shaking me, “Derek, Derek, you better just go home”. I looked over my shoulder and there was a cop shining a flashlight on his badge. But he wasn’t saying anything. I couldn’t get up. I kept looking over and he was still standing there. Finally I stood up. Two cops escorted me up the aisle and another came along and pretending to fall, mocking me, then pretended like he was gonna beat me up. I was going to joke and say “Yah, you’d probably do it for real if I was black” but they were all minorities. The 3 cops completely searched me in the theatre, the sergeant took my glass and wiped my shorts in a really arrogant way then told me that I had to walk around the movie theatre 7 times and I asked him if I could come back in after that and he said “no, go home”.

So he escorted me out. Then we were at the top of this ski run on an artificial ramp. Everyone had skis except me but I was skiing on my boots in the powder, faster than they were going. I waited at the bottom but they just passed me and ignored me so I said “oh well” and started skiing cross country around the building. I had 2 sets of poles and skis. I went by the back exit and was wondering what Sather would think when she saw me pass by 7 times. I got to the top of the ramp and was psyched to ski down. I went rally fast flying over the moguls but was at the bottom in about 3 turns and flew into a big crowd of beginners and dropped my poles. [correosponds to "Dragging a Cat Downhill: A Lesson in 'Action at a Distance'" in Poste Restante]

Exhibit I. Charm Coefficient Gap (imedge correosponding to above)

June 12, 1992 — Tucson

I was walking through riverbeds and finding crawdads. I was surprised, thinking these had gone extinct. Then there was a lot of them, more than when I was a kid. I wanted to pick one up out of the water and show it to someone, but I was afraid of getting pinched. We climbed up this thing and there was these kayakers coming down the river. They blocked up this gate and the water started rising. It gushed out underneath and was spectacular and pleasurable for some reason. Then it backed up to the rim and gushed over and was even more so exciting. [this part seeded "Even Crawdads Once were Bedwetters" in Poste Restante, w/ correosponding imedge:]

Exhibit M. Pneumatic Crawdad Pincer Valve

Then I was taking Sara [our car, a '66 VW bug] into the shop. I saw some guys in a group saying, “look, what kind of car is that?” and sensed they were up to foul play. Sure enough, they shut the gates locking all the customers in and pulling out automatic weapons. I put my hands up and did what they said. They lined us all up in a row and started going down the line. They seemed to be checking IDs and finding out how rich people were and how much money they could afford to take. I wasn’t afraid. Actually, they started talking to me after a while and one of the guys in line started running and they asked me to stop him. By the time they got to me they said they had enough and that I didn’t have to worry.

Lee Watson [sketchy friend of our mom's] woke me up at 7 am she had all the goods and would drop them off at some place in South Tucson, and I was to come up with $400, and she would drive me there. [This might of happened in real life but got logged accidentally as a "dream".]

July 26, 1992—Albuquerque, NM

I was reading someone else's journal. It was very illegible and i was skipping lines. Then i was thinking that's probably what somebody would do with mine. I was walking home and i had a blind person's cane and was imagining what it would be like to be blind. I saw my landlord and was embarrassed to think i was pretending to be blind. I started waving the cane around like it was a conductors baton or magic wand. All the people in this fancy marbled floored apt lobby were saying "look there he is, wow i wonder what he does?" They were all boring old farts that never left the apartment. The lobby was full of pianos, i started to play one with the baton but somebody was playing another one nearby. I needed to go up a floor. The stairs didn't connect because it was an all girls floor.  I pushed the elevator button with my baton and waited for the elevator with lots of other people dressed for church.

Aug 18, 1992—Tucson

I had to write an essay for some test i had to take. The essay was on some movie. I was busy finding paper and pen and didn't get what the instructor said. When i asked her she mentioned name of some movie i had never seen or heard of and it sounded lame. I begged and pleaded, telling her that to really write is to write on something you passionately know about rather than to bullshit. So she made an exception and told me the name of another movie that was a take-off on Moby Dick, which was fine with me, even though i'd never seen the movie. The question in particular was "if you were in the boat against the whale would you bail water towards the back (and risk drowning) or bail towards the front (and risk death by getting chewed by the whale)." Pick your poison. I guess in the dream it didn't occur to me that i had a chance to fight the whale and i chose death by downing because i didn't want to give the whale the satisfaction of eating me. Metaphorically it seemed better getting engulfed by the all-encompassing ocean, rather than getting swallowed by the beast. I might think differently in waking hours as drowning seams painful and is giving up. I'd rather take on the whale and i'd even rather get eating then drown. After that i was walking around this intricate building complex. There was water everywhere tin these gutters and chutes, gushing into drains way down big open drains that you could get sucked into. Then there was all these chutes with fresh water gushing out and people were swimming in them, some were trying to fight the raging headwaters at the source. I really wanted to go in but there were too many people. I went out the "no entrance door—authorized personnel only" and i was in some foreign country and i was supposed to meet mom. I found her and said "hey, let’s go get a chimichanga" and was all excited to eat a chimichanga though i'd never had one and it seemed disgusting. We were having a jolly old time, i had my arm around here and we were skipping. In the distance i could hear this twisted jazz band playing "Holiday in Cambodia". As we got closer i saw Jell-O Biafra and i'm all "hey mom, there's Jell-O Biafra." Shen said she expect him to be that old. He looked like Bozo the clown, balding with red puffy hair wings sprouting out. I was wondering where all his energy was. He came to the chorus and i expected him to explode but he was mellow, like a drunk lounge singer at a piano bar, sing-speaking "it's a holiday in Cambodia." Out of the corner of his mouth he blurted that porky pig stuttering precursor to "That's All Folks!" directed at us. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter. And Jell-O kept looking at me and i felt bad that i might have hurt his feelings but i couldn't contain my laughter.

Aug 29, 1992

Had a dream last light i was chilling in this dark, decaying swamp, up to my neck. I was just spinning in circles enjoying the view.

Sept 4, 1992

I dreamt that i swam around the world. The water was really cold but it was O.K. as long as i kept moving fast. Kevin came with me. We could see all the people on the shores... "Hey, there's Africa" and Africans lined the shores waving to us. "Hey, there's India", etc. I remember thinking how funny it looked, all the people along the shore. I was yelling hi to them all in different languages. Actually, it was some language i was making up. We even passed right by the South Pole, brushed up to it and touched a huge wall of ice, "brrrr, that's cold." Kept swimming and waving to the masses of people. The world wasn't so big but it was packed full of people.
     Then I was in this bar and was seeing everything on instant replay. This one dude really disliked me for some reason and i could see on instant replay how he was trying to hit me but i was oblivious. He came at me again and tried to hit me. It was as if i was directing a film. I was thinking, "i should do this" and punched the guy in the face 3 times. Then he was down on the ground with a caved-in socket and i felt really bad. And i didn't want the bar owners to get mad at me. I tried to be friends with the guy but he wouldn't. Finally he shook my hand and put his arm around me and everybody was cool. The waitress came and took our orders of "fruits." I ordered kiwis and passion fruits.

Sept 11, 1992—Tucson
I dreamt i was in Washington D.C. and had to stand in a long line to see the Washington Monument.

Sept 12, 1992—Tucson
I was trying to get into the basement of a big house (kind of like caving). I would check all the locks in and out to make sure i knew how to get out.

Sept 13, 1992 (4:10 a.m.)—Tucson

I was in a dream, in a film clip about these people that bungee jump onto Navy Ships to steal secret information. I was on a tugboat like thing with who felt like Mark Levine and Chris Gishey. We were in a Navy shipyard. I fell in the water and it was really warm so felt it must have been to Florida. We were still in a movie. We were supposed to infiltrate on to the Navy ship and become spies. Finally we pulled up to this boat where there was this party and Chris casually stepped aboard (in her bikini). There was like 15 people aboard and she was to infiltrate and pretend like she'd been there all along. We left her there and went off in our boat with a faulty starter. I set up 2 extension cords on this stone wall, neither end was hooked up. I'm not sure what it was for. Then we pulled out of the bay. I saw Rich Otto get into a car with Carl and drive off. I started chasing them (boats could go on roads). Ahead of us a bunch of dolphins were swimming across the road. I turned off the engine and we glided into them. They were incredibly friendly and took to our petting. I jumped into the water (about 3 feet of it about a road—it seemed we were on the road along the beach, like in Santa Cruz). The dolphins swam up like pet dogs. They were white and slimy and fun to swim with, frolicking in the water. Then the water drained from the road. The dolphins started running, they looked really funny. They jumped into the sewer. It was gross, full of sludge and oil and garbage. I felt like we should return them to the ocean, but it was hard to catch them down in this sewer. I saw a dead pink fluffy dolphin and another made of stone with a chipped nose. I saw a baby but didn't want to take it by itself. David found one and pulled it out, but it was a mother of a litter of pups. the father and some other dolphins were casually hanging out and weren't bothered that we stole the mother. We returned her and figured they were pets (there was food out for them and bedding). I was torn between people's rights to have pets and the rights for the dolphins to be in the ocean. Went to this Mexican restaurant, we walked too quickly for her.
     Then Jeff and i were at this park picking fruits and vegetables. Some guy was looking at my bike. He started going away and ran over and grabbed it. He wouldn't give it back at first but his friends were all don't be a dick. So he let go. He kept lingering then he grabbed Jeff's $600 mountain bike. Jeff ran out but rather than just grab him, he climbed up on top of this truck and waited for the guy to start riding away then jumped on him knocking him to the ground. Then he punched him in the face. His friends started to jump in and i ran over and said he deserved every bit of it and they didn't jump in. I got Jeff to quickly leave. There was a market we were supposed to take back to where were going.

Sept 17, 1992—Tucson
I had a dream last night that i taught Lucas how to take pictures with my camera (he was still a baby). He would jump off high places with a clay mask over his head. I saw it in discrete images, like time-lapse.

Sept 27, 1992—Tucson
I dream that Zo and i were roommates. But we never really saw each other. We had this really big room (reminded me of my room in Ajijic) and i was gonna get this piece of furniture—an old "corner" couch. I had a good feeling about this, the one that was currently there wasn't very comfortable. I was looking at the room thinking about all the space we had, lots of space we never used. And Zo was never around and i really wanted to see her and co-habitate (we had separate beds but i had romantic feelings for her). I wanted to tell her about the new couch and just be with her.

Dec. 4, 1992—Tucson
2 nights ago i dreamt about a huge cantaloupe, maybe 20 feet in diameter. Last night i dream i was driving with Jeff and was disgusted at all the garbage, worst yet there were bags that were ½ full of food, somebody would buy a bag of chips, eat a few, then throw the whole bag away. We stopped at a bike shop. There were 2 girls flirting with us who liked BMX bikes (as opposed to more adult "mountain" bikes). It seemed Jeff was about to pull off the ultimate caper of stealing the equations that could destroy the universe. I noticed the equations were the same as those to create the universe in reverse.

Dec. 5, 1992—Tucson
Dreamt of a huge bear, maybe 12 feet high that terrorized our house. It was a scary looking beast. I went into my childhood bedroom and removed some ceiling tiles to prepare to crawl through the roof if the bear came. People opened doors for it because they didn't want the bear to smash doors down.
     Then i was sent back to grade school with Chawn. We were given these easy assignments of adding numbers and i felt proud i could do them. I had to go to the bathroom. When i got to the urinal it started busting out of my belly button, frothy carrot juice gushing forth. When i tried to flush it it got clogged. It had nuts and fruits in it that were causing the clog. When i got back the teacher was asking me why i took a shower.

Jan , 1993—Tucson
I dreamt i was a polar bear that had a bone, another polar bear grabbed it and we were in a tense gridlock for hours, just growling at each other and refusing to budge.
     Then i was with Kevin walking into the surf of an ocean. He was approached by a fat black prostitute telling him if he didn't want to do it say so now. Meanwhile i went with her friend and she tied a rope to me and i was supposed to climb way up in this tree and drop down. I started climbing and wished i had gear to "lead" it. I got really high up and got out of control and was king of just grabbing all these vines, swinging down and grabbing onto another, like i was a monkey. I made this glamorous swinging exist at the bottom of the tree.
      Then i was with this guy, we were going to do something with his girlfriend (i felt like a tag-a-long). We knocked on her door and she was sleeping with another friend of this guy (call him Kent). He acted bummed and we went back to our room, which was adjoining. She came back saying "i got sick of it being cheat-on-Kent-behind-his-back day" then offered their room which was exactly like ours, big with furs on the beds and hundreds of Fijian drums hanging from the ceiling.
     Then i was with Rick who was driving this big Cadillac yacht, bitching about all the asphalt but then he would cut corners and run over all the plants. He would speed up for bumps and we would barely feel them because of the shocks.

Jan 25, 1993—Cochise Stronghold (camping out)
I had seriously twisted and spooky dreams, kept dreaming of themes of encroaching technology, overwhelming industrial powers, the immensity of civilization, engines, bombs, etc. The sky was glowing. I kept hearing UFOs, mining projects in the distance.

April 28, 1993—Tucson

Blackberry bushes were growing across the road between i'm not sure where, but C and I lived on one side. We were trying to figure out how to get them to grow across without blocking the road and concluded that you had to put them through the drainage ditch but then they wouldn't grow (no sunlight).
     I also dream i was playing softball, bases loaded and all that so i walk up and grab a big bat. The first pitch was a strike cuz i could barely swing the bat. So i switched to this small one. I was totally ready to smack the next one, but the next 4 pitches were balls. Walked. Someone hit a single then i was leading off from 2nd base with both hands and the ball hits me in the back. They all walk to the dugout like i'm out. I couldn't believe it. Neither could anyone on my team. I went back and told them that if anyone should know it would be me. I experienced it, and i was clearly safe. Then i said i played to have fun and wasn't having fun cuz of them so told them i was quitting and they would have bad karma.
     Then i was with C and Matty fishing. He caught a squirrelfish then i saw this alligator fish and hooked it before i caught it (does that make sense?) and wanted to throw it back so i could catch it for real, but there was no water in the "river". (C told me she dreamt she was going across a tightrope and alligators were biting at her feet, which is weird cuz of the alligator fish in my dream).

May 20, 1993—Tucson

I was supposed to be in this class but when i went to it it was all women. They were taking their clothes off and were given something. I saw these plastic coffee stirrers and thought those were them. I was trying to be real inconspicuous, all the women were fully or half naked and i felt i was intruding. We went over to another room and they handed their things in. A girl in the back saw me and passed my coffee stirrer to the front. The teacher looked at it and she's like "what is this?" All the women turned. The one next to me was trying to make me embarrassed "that's for baby food." But i just told the truth. I guess it was o.k. that i was there. They were gonna watch a movie, something like 2001. They had a little projector and screen but it suddenly turned into a big panoramic film. The opening scene was of a pool, it started on the ground then went into an aerial shot, flying around. The women we're gone and i realized i was at that pool, it was Grannini's house. I went out to look at the helicopter. I couldn't figure out how they were filming and i was watching it at the same time, i looked up to see if i could see the camera. The helicopter was circling around and going upside down and doing tricks. It was obviously interested in Grannini’s house. Then it came straight for me. I thought that they were just trying to scare me or get a reaction out of me so i stood my ground. But when it got closer i realized it would hit me so i ducked a little bit and it nicked the red anorak i was wearing. I went inside to tell someone. Kevin was in the back bedroom watching the movie on VCR, when i told him he jumped up (in his underwear) and ran outside to see. Jeff was in the living room watching it, but when i told him he didn't believe me, said it was a movie. Mom asked us if we wanted 2 grilled cheese sandwiches or 1.

July 14, 1993 — Tucson

I was with Chawn and there was this big steel container that was bursting at the seams like a pressure cooker. I backed away from it, then it exploded. Chawn was right next to it but didn't really get hurt, said he got his hearing back in his right ear at least. My ears were bleeding.

Aug 13, 1993—Custer, South Dakota
I wake up Ajay and he jumps up like "don't worry, I'll give you a ride." He's in his underwear giving me a ride to who knows where. He's sarcastically crying and displaying exaggerated anguish. I can't tell if he's joking, blubbering and acting psychotic.

Sept 26, 1993—Tuson
All i can say is it was about this guy who became a more complete person through the death of his father. And climbing dreams all the time.

Oct 18, 1993—Tucson
Mom was telling me to not fall asleep by holding a compass to the wall. Then i dreamt within the dream (I fell asleep anyways) that I entered this black and white film of Grandpa Call reeling in a fish and i took over for a while.

Oct 24, 1993—Tucson
I was going down to this cabin that seemed like Mom's place. I was with these 2 girls and there was snow on the ground. There were ski tracks on the road heading towards the house. We followed them in and they went right to the house and stopped, then there were footsteps leading into the (unlocked) house like someone had broken in. We couldn't find anything missing but we're still freaked out. I was trying to calm down these girls (that seemed like cousins). One girl said the intruder was really powerful and would poke her mattress from under the bed. I was trying to tell her it was all in her mind.
     "Did you check under your bed?"
I turned the thermostat from 40° to 75° then we heard this snowmobile coming down the road and I knew the ski tracks weren't from skis but a snowmobile. Adrenalin shot through me and i searched for a gun or weapon but all i could find was a fire poker. I went to the window. He had stopped and was about to get off. He had dark curly hair and a flannel shirt. It seemed like he purposely kept his face featureless so we couldn't see him. I didn't know whether to hide or show myself in the window. Then he saw me in the window and took off. I went to bed on a waterbed. I woke up buzzing like i was drugged up and dreamt (within the dream) that i heard a knock on the door. I remember the cousin saying this intruder was powerful in mind control. I tried to wake up but couldn't. I thought I heard a dog bark. I figured i had been drugged, i was buzzing numbly. Finally i woke up and felt too freaked out to go back to sleep.

Nov 12, 1993—El Paso, TX
I was screwed on from the waist down and my head and torso could float around. Then i came upon the lower half of me and i was really intrigued about the mind/body thing and whether i could become aroused without my head attached, so I, well, ... it was really strange and i woke up disgusted at myself and jumped in the shower thinking it was morning and when i got out it was still dark when i looked outside.

Dec 13, 1993—Tucson
I was walking through this marketplace that seemed third world. There was this guy who wanted to sell himself as a piece of meat to eat. He had already begun the cooking process though he was still alive. He was pulling these fleshy threads out of his mouth and his skin was thick and dry and peeling off in big chunks. He was going to inject himself with some euthanasia to kill himself. I was intrigued cuz i'd never seen anyone die before my eyes. He injected himself than within seconds he was quivering and convulsing and fell to the floor. A clown, his ghost, popped up out of his body and was dancing around all cheerful like he'd been freed. He jumped towards me and i was wondering whether ghosts (clowns) have mass. He hit me with tremendous force. He had mass. People asked me and i said so, though the clown-ghost also stepped on Kevin and Kevin said the clown-ghost didn't have mass. The clown ghost jumped and danced away, free.

[1994 – 1995 dream log]

634 <( current)>  636 > Embodied anullment: ice it like a belly button in a dream-state land-gauge of the natives
[  (ɔ)om.Postd 2019  anon I'm us  |  calamari archive   ]