2024/07/18 | Santa Monica > in a routine of 5orts, running in the a.m., yestrday up along the bluff twards Malibu, 5topping 2 swim + then back along the beach (6 mi) then walked around town w/ J another 6 > 2day ran down along the Venice boredwalk (early, when n0 1 was out yet) past all the 5unburnt hobo punx + junkies, 2 th end of the peer, then ran baↄk darefoot on the beach (7 mi) then took a swim, then walked w/ J ^nother 7 in th other direXion > the restraunts in 5anta Monica R eXpensive + bad, trying R best 2 eat healthy + n0 salt but iT's hard > haven't bin drinking that much ... we were going 2 do dry July but aint EZ when u'R on vacation, e5pecially travelling 5idewayz up in wine country > but re-reading Kevin's rehab gournels + thinking (wile running the same paths he ran on) abt how hard iT was 4 him 2 rehabilit8 hear in 5anta Monica 5obered me up, maid me realize how lucky i am that i've lived thi5 long + how everything in my life is gr8 eXcept perhaps i like wine 2 much + iT FX my 5leep witch probly makes my menieres worse, so gunna see if i complete|y dry up 4 an eXtended period 2 C if my menieres imProves, after 2 dayz dry feeling bedder already

perhaps the last bottle of hooch we drink, sun-downer G+T's overlooking the Pacific, 2 evenings ago

> also thinking of imposing a moratorium on picture-taking ... n0t that i take a lot of 5elfies (th above reflection in the boddle may B my last), but even trying 2 capture eXperience w/ photos seems vain, D-loots living in the moment, 5melling flowers ... n0t that i haven't maid such declarations b4

> watched The Big Lebowski, cla55ic LA > the 5cene where they dump Donnie's ashes i was thinking mayB i shd of dumped K's a5hes in 5anta Monica, but i held on2 the a5hes 4 yrs after he died + nvr made iT 2 LA, so just ended up dumping them in Central Park + the Hudson, witch is all good, the Hudson goes in2 the see + all 7 seize R interconnected, + yes, the pacifiC is the mother of all Cs, but also reeks of deth, of white m^n m^nifest destiny > there's sumping gr8 about finishing ^ run + jumping in the O-cean, used 2 B when i lived in Califnia every time i saw the O-cean i cdn't resi5t jumping in (even b4 we had camraws 2 prove we did), but iT's ^ strange temptation ... az the Frightened Rabbit song «5wim Until U Can't See L&» i||ustr8s ... R U a m^n? R U a bag of s&? > must of bin hard 4 his b&m8s (5pecially his brother) 2 here hym sing thi5 5ong, or «Floating in the Forth» knowing @ sum pt iT wd lead 2 thi5:

     Am I ready to leap
     Is there peace beneath
     The roar of the Forth road bridge?

7/19 | LAX > woke up 2 headlines of GLOBAL K-OS! ALL FLiGHTS GROUNDED! 911 EMERGENCY SERViCES DiSRUPTED, etc.... n0t the kind of news u wanna wake up 2 when u have a flight 2 ketch ... n0t that i red those headlines (i also D-clared i wasnt gunna read The Daily Noose) but j red the headlines 2 me > crayz we'R this deependant on tecknowledgey, 1 softwhere 9litch can cause 9lobal K-OS in all the critickle systems of the whirled, even R hotel was saying their computers went south > these humun deependseas run deeper than phones, cars, social media, drugs, etc. we shdn't be deependant on N-E-thing eXcept food, H₂O + 5helter > ok, mayB love 2, but n0t every 1 finds iT (witch i chalk up 2 the main cause of Chaulky's deth)

> went 4 a run on the beach, w8ing 4 the K-OS 2 clear 2 no what's what, then got back + walked w/ J sum more contempL8ing what 2 due ... R flight was 5till scheduled az on time so ubered 2 the error port ware i'm writing this from

flight 5tatus 5creens @ the error port

(sumwhere over OKlahoma) > finishd reading Strange Cures by Rob Zabrecky, a book we picked up @ Small World Books in Venice (recommended local author) > Zabrecky was in the b& Possum Dixon, who we remember K (aka Chaulky, co-author of Textiloma) tocking about + Rob Zabrecky's name was in K's rolodex > in fact, in the last post we po5ted an entry from K's rehab gournel, from 3/30/1996, @ the height of his dope-shooting dayz in 5anta Monica + a few weeks earlier K wrote this:

3-10-96
I am working right now, on the first video in which I am the art director. I am not getting paid very much, and I have Eric helping me. The band is called Possum Dixon.
     I started going to the clinic about a week ago. I have been using almost every day since I started. Today I did not go to the clinic (I had a six a.m. call) but I did use, I feel shitty right now, and we have a ways to go on this video. I should try to stick with this program (while I still can), I am really blowing it, I am a reaal loser. Its good to be working.

> Zabrecky was also a junkie (or claimed 2 B), but he's 5till alive, kicked in 1996 > Zabrecky is pretty callous + n0nchalant about his drug use, addiction (+ girlfriend's suicide), glamorizing iT + boasting about how EZ iT was 2 quit ... the hole book is really him just bragging about how gr8 he is + all the famous ppl he's hob-knobbed with, he even inkloots all these pictures of himself in the book (think he thinks he's good-looking?) > there's even a part where he talks about having dinner w/ the Go-Go's in France, witch makes me wonder if that's how Kevin got the art director gig? b/c our cousin Roger maid 1 of the Go-Go's videos + Belinda Carlisle's husb& Morgan Mason was the producer of Mr. Stitch, R's movie K + i worked on 2gether in France in 1994-95 > in fact, i've got 1 up on Zabrecky, b/c n0t only did i have dinner w/ Belinda Carlisle, i cooked iT (tho she was B-ing poopy + 8 alone in her room)!

> being in 5anta Monica made me think a lot about Kevin + how he might of turned out if things were diffrent, if he had the breaks Zabrecky had, that u5ually don't halve much 2 do w/ talent az dumb luck (Zabrecky says he was able 2 quit b/c he had some bad smack that just made him 5top cold turkey (n0 need 4 rehab or 12-step)) > long ago when K told me he was working on a Possum Dixon video i remember looking in2 the b& + wasn't so impre55ed, but seems they'R popular (worthy of writing a memoir?) + he's achieved all this success so most ppl must think they'R good? but lis-10-ing now i remember how painfu||y bad Possum Dixon is + Zabrecky's an awfool riter 2 boot ... 5tarts out OK, crayz how he got 5hot + cured his warts w/ cow-π mittens in ScotL& but then it just B-comes a mish-mash in diffrent voices/tenses like cobbled 2gether gurnel entries (witch is fine in a blog like this, but az a book? was there n0 editor?) ... but Zabrecky + Possum Dixon R weigh more popular + «critically acclaimed» than Kevin + me + Sound Furies, so who M i 2 say?

Strange Cures amidst the global K-OS/bi99est iT outage in hystery

7/20 | NYC > arrived L8 last nite, good 2 sleep in our one bed, where we were @ a nobel-award ceremony 4 Paul Dirac + j was talking about what a pompous a55hole he was az a person + i said, yah, but he's a brilliant fizzicist ... witch is weird b/c i haven't thought or red abt Dirac in ages + thi5 morning when i looked up what Dirac looked like iT waznt him, iT was sum older di5tinguished French guy who seamed familiar but i don't know who iT was in my dream + i can't use image search b/c the img is onely in my mined

> woke up groggy + diyzz mayB from pressure diffrence or jet lag or b/c i took a melatonin (haven't bin L8ly) > 5pent the day running err&s + ketching up w/ 5hit after being gone 1 moonth, 5tepped on the 5cale (4 1st time in 1 month) + way 167, so lost ~5 lbs this past moon walking/running a lot + most|y eating 1 meal a day (D-spite a few heavy 5hitty meals, e5pecially @ the beginning in New Mexico) ... now just need 2 keep this up + lose 5 more, EZ-er when U halve more CTRL over yr diet (downside 2 travelling) > then went down 2 the WV 2 meat M + L + eat @ Lupa (had 1 glass of wine so didn't feel like a boring T-totaler) then 2 see OFF! (+ Fucked Up) @ LPR > Keith Morris is 68 yrs old + 5till has the same N-urgey az when i used 2 see Circle JƎrks 40 yrs ago in San Fran, amazing his voice/enurgey has persevered, truly a legend, real deal, + the nu b& 5uper tite, the 5onic blast good medesin 4 my deaf/tinnitus-plagued ears > weird 2 sea him in NYC (a 1st), e5pecially 5ince we were just in his hometown > we had tix 2 see the reunited Circle JƎrks in NYC a few yrs ago, but he got covid

7/21 > i don't remember plots so much as imagery, sum 1 demonstr8ing how 2 rehabilit8 a wasteL& by laying down sod made of 5titched 2gether buffalo + cow hides 2 blend w/ the L&scape + the hair wd grow in2 grass + 5hrubs + the meaty under5ides wd melt (w/ rain + sun) in2 the s& 2 4m organic 5oil > then L8er in the nite/morn we happend upon sum Waco-like cult ware this Koresh-like tyrant wd make decisions abt how 2 treat his subjex (wom^n + children) by rollin9 dice + i 5tole 1 die + thru iT in the bu5hes w8ing 4 iT 2 grow in2 a plant