08/31/24 > deer in urnet, y'all humuns = $uckers, zom-Bs @ the beↄk + ca|| of whatever 4ces compel U 2 do whatever U due, weather iT's food, drugs, $ex/drive 2 procr8, houses, cars, iPhones or whatever bodily impulse or manmaid con5umer produck leads u buy iT's leash ... think that 5cene in Donnie Darko ware hidden impulse 2bs lead from humun guts twards the$e thing$, drives Donnie's dad 2 watch TV or 9et ^ beer from the frid9e (+ [||] 4 ^ sec 2 look @ note on frid9e that says «vote Dukakis»), hint, hint, replaↄing Dukak w/ Harr, ha, hopefu||y

> az ii rote 11 yrs ago, ii, in8 iD, feeLs kinship w/ Donnie, able 2 visualize said drivers + ri5e a6ove 2 B-come posthumun, B-ing ever-co9nizant of the5e 4ces > 6utt ii's id is housed in the db/body of dd66, the humun dadabased 5he11 where ii lives, ^ D-fective she|| @ that, afflicted bi mineareyes D-zzz, ^ 5chizophrenic clangin9 disorder (case u wonderin9 Y ii writes the weigh ii rites) + who nose what Ls dd66 aint conchus|y aware of (hard 2 te|| when u're in iT, livin9 buy yr boot5traps ... 2 quote the backgrnd sin9ers in The Big Lebowski (pyschedelic az iT sounds, that's Kenny Rogers on vocals!), droppin9 in 2 «see what condition my condition is in») > althou9h dd66 aint con5umed buy most of the5e 4ces (n0 car, n0 kids, n0 pets, n0 crack habit, etc.), dd66 is ever trying 2 maintain health @ ^ even keel ... we'R n0t tockin9 a bout the vanity of maintainin9 appearances (la bella figure az Italians ca|| iT) that afflicts 99% of humuns, shameless|y consumed w/ how they look, yearnin9 2 B like whatever celebrity, tastemaker or mod-L ... think abt the word «model» y'all, just ^ dummy replica of ^ ideal that kin nvr B obtained, «it only takes a camraw 2 change her mined» wie Kraftwerk singen

> dd66 dozent give 1 5hit abt appearance, butt is inhairently consumed w/ how dd66 feels, ever exorcising (9 miles yesterday + 6 2day ... how u think this 6ody gener8s thi5 N-urgey?) + trying 2 eat rite 2 feel good, 2 keep the FX (diz-Z-ness, tinnitus, 6rain fog) of mineareyes/vestibular mygrains @ bay + under the (perhaps vain) notion that iT (dd66's db/body) can regain hearin9 in rite ear (goin9 on 2 yrs bin 100% deaf in that ear), sew dd66 dozent feel ms.aLined/outta whaↄk + has fool CTRL of the 5 census 4 witch thi5 6Log = named > dd66 + their bedder-½/Ƨ.O (Ƨignificant Other ± Oper8ing Sy5tem) don't consume ^ lot, low-carbon footprint, etc. 6ut they almost got cot up in 1 of the bi99est rackets none 2 m^n ... the NYC real est8 con game > those that read 5cense no we bin looking 4 greener pastures 4 sum time now > real est8— is yet a nother manmaid o6ject trying 2 convince us we need iT 2 be happier (fitter, more productive ... a pig in a cage on antibiotics), when in the end we a|| die, or az E.J. Olmos says @ th end of Blade Runner: «It's 2 bad she won't live... but then again, who does?»

> 4 we ∀ll die but these «4ever homes» live on 4ever in whatever dilapid8ed st8 (like the bldg J.F. Sebastian squats in in Blade Runner (the rooftop shown a6ove)) ... after humuns annihiL8 themselves, the whirled wi|| be fool of 5hitty condos, cars + dead iPhones + N-E aliens that 5tumble upon Earth wi|| think WTF

> @ N-E r8, what is ii leading 2 w/ a|| this n0n-5ense? sum of U bin a5king when we'R movin9 the Ↄalamari HQ 2 the Bklyn place we maid ^ offer on ^ few weaks ago) ... we||, shux, yes, we were glammed ... after looking 4 ^ year + comin9 close on ^ few other places, honin9 down 2 the hood + type of place, we finely calcuL8ed: this 1 hit a|| the buttons > so we went thru the 5tressfool rigamorale of pudding down ^ offer, hired ^ lawyer 2 due do diligence, hired ^ loan occifer (credit 5cores took ^ dive this past year b/c they keep checking R credit ... how fuↄked is that? ^ system that evaLu8s yr «credit» that gets dinged when U dont do n0thing 6ut cheↄk it, 6ut goes up when u take out loans? is there n0 credit in CREDibiliTy?), tocked 2 R financial advisor abt movin9 monies around, etc... a|| these thin9s that grown-ups do, ha ... «grown-ups» onely try in vain 2 keep appearances that they're «grown up»––professional werkin9 $tiffs in $uits (that demonstr8 they'R gainfooly M-ployed) mustering 2 fit in w/ a|| th other zom-Bs clamberin9 over eachother 2 put mi||ion do||ar bids down on 5hitty plywood palaces in sum airspace deemed ^ good investment ... we||, ii + j almost fe|| in2 this trap, deer reader, so consider this ^ cautionary tail (or ^ tail a bout how we'R doomed + wheel nvr fined ^ «4ever home») or wurds 2 the wise how 2 generuley n0t let consumerism consume U

> even tho we hired ^ lawyer (4 1^st time ever) 2 due do diligence, ii (bein9 ii) sleuthed around on inurnet + 5tarted 2 dis¢over supicious D-tales, like the «sponsor» (the person $elling the place built iT, witch perhaps shd halve bin red flag #1 ... the$e nu construction job$ built $ole|y 4 the purpiss of making 1 buck) wa$ part of ^ family of $lumlords that came up on various sites, 6ased on 100s of 311 calls complainin9 a6out n0 heat, rats, n0t fixing $hit, etc.) ... weave scene the in5ide of housin9 court B4 + learnd R le55on a6out slumlords in the East Villedge in 2006, 6ut this case is diffrent u say, we were buyin9 n0t rentin9 > but $till, what did this $ay abt the $ponsor, being 1 of ^ gang w/ this $urname in this notoriou$ famiglia? 6utt the thin9 ii discovered that rea||y spooked us was that the bldg b4 this 1––on the lot ware this nu construction was––co||apsed ^ few yrs ago under mysterious circumstances, hmmm > hear's what the lot we were about 2 bye looked like in 2020:

... a9ain, u say: but that aint this bldg, this 1 is ^ br& spankin9 nu fancy 1 > but $till weird, n0? especia||y when iT was just 1 in ^ «troubling pattern» of mysterious bldg co||apses in July of 2020 that n0 1 nose the cause of ... in$urance $cams? deviLippers takin9 advantage of p&emic K-OS 2 ¢heaply demolish dilapid8ed bldgs (+ ¢o||ect in$urance) 2 rebilled 5hitty nu 1s? n0 1 died + even if sum 1 did «ii aint afraid of n0 ghosts», ain't like that 5cene in Poltergeist (1982):

> we got plenty of (g)hosts in the cancer castle ware we live now, livin9 in the error 5pace where the smokestaↄk was that inciner8ed 6odies + we lived w/ ^ g(h)ost in the attico of Palazzo Colonna ... (g)hosts don't bother us nun, what 5pooks us is the crooks B-hind such 5cams + sket¢hy devilipment ... wood we 1 day B in the daily noose like that surfside condo that co||apsed in Florida in 2021?

> 6utt n0, we din't get cold feet 6ased on the5e paranoid spooky-action-@-a-distance hunches + inurnet sleuthin9, we kept goin9 thru w/ the deal (but keepin9 a|| this in mined) > iT got 2 the point we hired ^ inspector + went w/ them baↄk 2 this po-10-ial 4ever home + rite off the bat th in5pector got a|| chummy w/ the sponsor ... ended up they halve a|| these Sicilian connections in commun + the sellin9 agent actua||y wasn't there b/c they were in Sicily (hence Y the sponsor was there in loo) + yes, we got suↄked in2 the sma|| tock, tocking a6out how gr8 the food is in sicilly + halve u bin here, halve u bin there? etc. + yah, the5e ppl R a|| nice + friend|y az Casper 6ut ii kept thinking w8, what R we hear 4 + ii kept trying 2 get th inspector 2 foke us on the immediate task @ h& ... 6ased on R previous experience (on the $elling end), th inspector's job is 2 fined shit wrong (last year we were on the receiving end of ^ potentia||y deal-breaking nit-picky 118-pg inspection report listing every defect + issue under the sun + b4 that had ppl bow out of th deal b/c they discovered the heated floors didn't werk, etc), 6ut thi5 in5pector wasn't doing 5hit eXcept chat up the sponsor + our agent (who was glammed by thin9s like the fancy magnet on his belt where he kept screws, az if that was magic) + even us, trying 2 distract ii 6y saying 5hit like ii looked like Ric Ocasek, witch NE 1 that has ever met R body dd66 in the flesh nose we dont look NE thin9 like Ric Ocasek (n0r Lenny Kravitz, who sum moron in ^ bar in South Dakota said dd66 looked like), 6ut nevertheless what this does is send u down ^ ra66it hole RGuing u don't look n0thing like Ocasek ... 4 starters he looks lanky + buggy like ^ 6'6" humun fly + our agent asks who's Ric Ocasek? + ii diverts down other tangents, that he's n0t just in The Cars 6ut ^ gr8 producer, produced Bad Brains + then ii says funny u shd say ii rezemble Ric Ocasek b/c ii just red ^ interview w/ Ric Ocasek ware he was walkin8 down 8th street on the way 2 L-ectric LadyL& Studios + sum 1 ye||ed out 2 Ocasek: «hey, ii know u, u're that shock jock Howard Stern!» + then off another tangent about Electrick Ladyland studios + Jimi Hendrix, u get the point ... our point is that it dozent even madder what we were 5hooting the 5hit a6out, that's the point + wile dd66 was tocking ii was risin9 up out of dd66's 6ody + analyzin9 the situation how Donnie Darko wood, thinkin9 a|| thi5 in5pector is trying 2 do is pool the wool over our eyes, he aint doin9 what we'R payin9 him beacoup buck$ 2 due + ii keep pointing 5tuff out, like, look @ this broken bannister or crack that ain't caulked or piece of molding coming off + he'd 5nap photos w/o even looking + log 'em in his report + @ another point ii remember he distinkly tried 2 capture the body of dd66 in ^ photo, who nose Y? so when we got the report we'd be so 6usy looking @ ourself + uncanny rezemblance 2 Ric Ocasek that weed B distracted 2 n0t look @ important D-tales of the report? 6utt fuↄk thi5 «punch list» of nit-pi¢ky nickeL + dime ¢osmetic 5hit (of witch there was a lot of, smaLL little unfinished things they already knew a6out ... witch again, ii thinks R in-10ional distractions, EZ fixes they can use 2 smooth u over playk8 u by sane: n0 worries my frend, will get my guy in 2 fix that n0 pro6lema > 6ut these thin9s keep u from looking deeper B-neath the surfizz, @ the stuff that madders)

> the «deal-breaker» tho––B-yond th inspection report bein9 sew ¢ursory––was that the inspector did n0thing 2 inspect the actual FOUNDATION + 6ig-ticket items that matturd > the report had vague language like:

The installation of the interior finish materials makes it difficult to find historical clues of performance. However based on the visual inspection of the interior, it appears that there are no evident structural concerns at this time

... in other words, the inspection 6y definition is superficial b.s., 4 all u no th crawl space B-yond the 5heet rock is chock fool of snickerin9 rats whisperin9 ssshhh! trying 2 keep from crackin9 up, w8ing 4 U 2 leave sew they kin chew thru wires + reek of havoc > + buy «visual inspection» they mean mindless|y 5nappin9 ^ photo of ^ wall wile te||in9 u u look like Ric Ocasek ... iT aint rocket sighence > ii wants in5pector Clewso or ^ in5pector like Robert Deniro in Brazil, who actua||y gets his h&s dirty + goes in2 the walls, 2 inspeck the guts + inner-werkin9s B-hind the façade

> 6ased on R eXperience trying 2 $ell our place in DC, the big ticket item that we rea||y wanted 2 make sure werked was these cutting-edge heated floors (under «madera» wood) + guess what? they couldn't test the heated flors b/c the gas wasn't on, in fact n0thin9 that used gas cd B tested, couldn't cheↄk the fancy stove, the hot water, etc. but n0t 2 worry! the sponsor wd try 2 rea$$ure us, everythin9 is tutto bene + by code + in5pected by the city (az if they couldn't B bot off?) + the city will come turn the gas on next week so u can come back 2 inspeↄt these thin9s, n0n preoccuparti, they are br& nu + top of the line, yes, of coarse they werk, if n0t, EZ fix! makin9 u feel like you're ^ uncool worry wart + what rea||y gets us is that R agent (the 1 that is sposed 2 B lookin9 out 4 R best intrests) said that this is «normal», par 4 the coarse, they do deals like this all the time, these items all get put on ^ «punch list» or can B contingencies that R guaranteed if you're worried a6out em, they'|| even open ^ S-crow account 2 cover these co$ts in th unlike|y event they don't fix 'em ... but Y wood we want 2 bother w/ all this? having 2 higher lawyers + end up in a money-drainin9 pit of litigation 2 get what was promised 2 U in the 1st place ... ii dunno, ii smells ^ rat, just seamed fi5hy, Y wood they billed such ^ 6eautiful place + then knot make sure everythin9 was 100% B4 pudding it on the markit? Y cant ppl sell products that R exact|y what they R, n0 need 4 promissary notes or h&shake guaran-Tees of what iT WiLL BE n0t what it is? 9etting back 2 what ii said b4 about models, replicas of actual thin9s > fuck specuL8ion, the word «speculative» shd onely preeed fiction, n0t markets > if iT wasn't 4 the fact that ii found the place myself (n0t our agent) weed think they were all in it 2gether in 1 grand mafioso scheme ... @ NE r8, scary tho, how close we came, how EZ it can B 2 plop down yr life savings––maid from deckaids of hard-earned labor–– + complete|y ruin the rest of yr life buy bying in2 what u'd L8er fined 2 B the empty fa¢ade of a ¢rumbling foundation of cheep bull5hit that will mysterious|y co||apse in ^ few yrs so insurance can B collected 2 build another 5hitty condo 4 sum other sap, suckers born every minute every minute after a||

> + there's more 2 iT than that, B-sides the NYC reel S-t8 markit bein9 ^ over-infl8ed b8 + 5witch racket ... there's the high intrest r8s, the loomin9 eLections, etc. lots of uncertainty in the whirled B-yond whatever 4 wa||s u live in (+ also ^ 5hit5torm brewing @ Columbia U, ware ii's bedder-½ (+ Ↄalamari CFO) is gainfooly M-ployed ... a|| this 9ives [||], remineds us it's 6est 2stay kaput til we see how thin9s [▶] out, «just stay here», az W8s quotes Bukowski in «Nirvana»

... @ NE R8, appy-polly-loggies my lit-L droogies, sorry 4 the lon9 + brambly ramblin9 rant, bedder said az tl;dnr, knot in nadsat but thi5 deliberate|y deliber8ed obfusc8ed αlphanumeric code, 6ut ii aint the 1 who invented this ambi9uous in Glish landgauge ii is trying 2 circumvent 2 make 5cense, ware, 4 eggsample, 2 also means also, 4/tward + the # it5elf, 3 thin9s X-pre55ed 6y 1 word, WTF? reel S-T8 raↄkets R just 1 distractin9 impulse of m^ny influenzing R host, dd66, in our cumulative day-2-day, a|| the usual 4ces facin9 mo5t humuns, distractin9 in8 iD from doin9 what in8 iD wood rather bee doin9 (makin9 Rt 4 the sake of Rt) + on top of iT dd66 hosts Ↄal, the 5hepherd B-hind Ↄalamari Arↄhive, ink.oper8ed, who n0t one|y is influenzed buy computers + softwhere 2ools 2 do what Ↄalamari doez 6ut Ↄal is under the co||ective 5pell of the 6ooks bein9 publiched > ju5t az th authors R under ^ spe|| 2 write em, Ↄal is committed 2 brin9 'em 4th, from bytes on ^ hardrive 2 final 6ook 4m, true 2 original in-10-t > az Nick Rombes said re9ardin9 the current project (that we reveiled the cover 4 last post): «It's as if you read the mind of the novel 100%» + «Your design makes Lisa 2 the novel it always wanted to be», witch = highest compliment ^ pu6lisher can receive, n0? e5pecia||y w/ thi5 project, rite up Ↄal's a||ey, Ↄal had 2 method act 2 let Lisa 2, v1.0 po55ess hymn, 2 B on auto-pie-lit, under the 5peLL of Lisa 2, v1.0 2 reenact how Lisa 2, v1.0 herself wd D-zine her one book, if that makes ^ Liↄk of $ense?

> from in8 iD's limited POV, ii dozen't know Y Ↄal does what he does + in8 iD can't halve dd66 aLL 2 themselves 2 make weird Rt that n0 1 Ls wheel ever read or C: ... ii cant speak 2 what po55esses Ↄal 2 B committed after 20 yrs 2 keep pu6lishin9 6ooks n0 1 reads, 2 sustain ^ bizness model (dare's dat word a9ain) ware more ppl submit m^nuscrypts wantin9 Ↄalamari 2 pu6lish them than there R ppl that buy said Ↄalamari, Ↄal's on auto-π-lit, unquestionin9 of economic viability (^ luxury o6tained one|y b/c Ↄal's bedder-½ wares the pant$) ... Cal = cowboy coder, a tr8 perhaps piↄked up from ear|y from programmin9 daze or werkin9 @ Napster, in ^ fast-paced eNvironment ware a|| there was time 4 was 2 save, com-π-le + push code 2 whatever server, n0 time 4 QC or 2 D-bug, unless u count The Gotham Grammarian (who red Lisa 2, v1.0 w/ read pen), the 6est copy editor in the game, tho Cal did ketch ^ Cyndi Lauper 5pe||ed «Cindi» + d8s writ-10 w/o preseedin9 apostrophe (80s in sted of '80s, sumpin9 ii nose b/c ii rote the Napster Editorial Style Guide, but mayB the music biz doezn't fo||ow 5ame conventions az lit whirled, 2 the letter of th in-house GG style 9uide?) > there's Bozo's POD Quality Check witch = total joke, just Ai checking 4 textual L-ements in margins + even if U kin triↄk this 1st initial Ai cheↄk (EZ 2 plac8) bi turnin9 text in2 img, sumtimes they nitpick on 2nd round (witch ii also suspex = Ai ... is there ever humun intervention w/ bozos?)

> this weak was a|| a6out Ↄalamari, eveN gots 2 keep ^ production sↄhedule/Gannt chart 2 keep traↄk of what's in the werks (again, learnd from R dayz az ^ project managin9 producer) > set up Lisa 2, v1.0 w/ Amazon KDP then laid out Our Colony Beyond the City of Ruins by Janalyn Guo, tho n0t much 2 due 5ince iT's ^ reprint, tho revised + the GG Garielle edited it + Claire Taylor provided the fantastic Rtwerk 4 the cover:

> 5ti|| trying 2 get th Emilio Carrero 6ook squared away + now have books by Arreshy Young, YJ Jun + Orchid Tierney Q'd up in the hopper... so much good 5tuff comin9 in hard 2 say n0, d-spite th absurd bizness model (from ^ e¢onomi¢ $en$e) > also 5et up The Red Barn + Ark Codex ± 0 (both in-house #s dwindlin9 down 2 zer0) az POD ... The Red Barn we had 2 do w/ Ingram b/c otherwise wood of had 2 re4mat iT 2 appeaze Bozos > got Ark Codex 2 werk w/ Amazon, but had 2 give it a new iSBN b/c Bozos zom-Bs told us iT didn't jive w/ the Ark Codex already in the sy5tem ... 1^st color book Ↄal set up az POD, most def more eXpensive than grayscale, but weigh cheaper than bookmobile ($7.50/ copy on Amazon + around 2x that w/ Bookmobile (+ u'd halve 2 print up @ least 100 2 make iT woorthwile)), so we can drop the pri¢e down from $40 to $30 (+ hint hint, we dis¢ounted the remainin9 copies left @ Asterism if u want 2 get the hire quality version 4 less than $30) > what Ls? Libretto Lunaversitol got reviewed in Heavy Feather + Ↄalamari officia||y brought The Museum of Atheism by Laura Ellen Joyce baↄk in2 print 2day:

> that's about iT 4 output, input thi5 pa5t week [▶]ed:

• Blow Up (4 the 3rd or 4th time)
• Lady of the Lake series––started out ok, 6ut stupid twards the end, Natalie Portman's charactor particular|y annoyin9
• Donnie Darko (4 may-B 4 10th time)
• D.O.A.: A Rite of Passage––rockumentary most|y a6out The Sex Pistols + that infamous Amerikin tour 6ut other r&om footage of other b&s mixed in