|582> Anon step 1: submit 2 K-OS as 1 of 12 dry, jeanless + serene cogs in the clean machene|
27 May 2018 | Rome>
Wint for an early morning run, up around Villa Borghese just cuz there's all that crap in tents along the Tiber now thru the summer. makes it a pain to riverrun. No 1 out except occassional drunk folk stumbling home, taking selfies on the Spanish steps or Trevi font. Best time to see Rome b'way, early sunday morn. Last nite metro'd to EUR for din, came back thru K-OS of colossseo crowds, moreso cuz Giro d'Italiaè oggi. Starts + stops in Piazza Venezia, rite outside our palazzo. 1 downside, u mite say, to this attic spazio, in the cuore of the equiv'lent of Rome's Time Square. On the udder hand, what bedder plaze to learn to live w/ K-OS?
In Textiloma ('SSEY" vol II), what we write now, weave finished the introductory/segue between volumes + now halve the 12 'Nostos' episodes to go... the 'homecoming' dat Joyce skipped for the most part in Ulysses, focusing more on the actshoal odyssey. This 12 # we obssessed over in A Raft Manifest still lingering... + since this will be a book in large part about substance abuse + addiction (that our brother grappled with), figgered why not follow the 12-steps wile were at it? In solidarity, anonymously even, the anon part ez for us, since we renounced our name sum 8+ yrs ago... last 5 books writ under varyus disguises, now riding as anon I'm us. Not that we're 'alcoholics' or we abuse whatever substance, but perhaps the 1st step is to edmit our habit, at least for the sake of this exorcise. It aint just about the 12-steps, we quit anyway a few weeks ago, our bedder-½ + us, or at least figgered weed only drink weekends, but then u realize how much bedder u sleep + dream, more lucid during day no fog, + wine + beer = extra calories u just don't need. We probly drink as much as the next guy, but hit seems a lot to us, mayb cuz we run/exorcise a lot + it seems at odds w/ dat, as we've complained about before + quit for a few weeks a few other times, then fall back into the habit. It's the habit part that bugs us, that's hardest to brake. We didn't make a daily habit of it til we 1° moved to Rome in 2010, figgered why not? Wine is cheap + good, every1 here drinks (tho they don't get stupid drunk like brits or ∀merikins). U aint living if u don't have a bottle of wine w/ dinner (even lunch as many Italians do) + we must edmit it's nice, adds to the quality of eating, of evenings chilling... at the expense of sleep quality tho + xtra calories u got to work harder at burning off the next day. At 1st u due hit to reward yorself, u "deserve" a beer or glass of wine at the end of the day, just like how we like to start our day w/a cup of cofee (wich we aint about to give up, tho it's hard to find decent beans here (never did embrace the Italian way)). Not sure the exact wording of the 1° step, we're out on our terraza now so can't google, wich is a good thing. Maybe u, dear Inurnet, are another thing we shd abstain from? At least on sundays or the sabbath. If we remember rite the 1° step is about how u sposed to submit, edmit u r powerless + halve lost control, cuz of alcohol. Not that we gunna follow these steps "religiously"... specially the steps w/ the G word gunna be hard to swallow, even if they say hire power or whatever. We're gunna go by our one meta4ickal versions of these steps. In our mind this 1° step is about accepting K-OS, dat hit ∃xists in this moondough always has + aint nada u kin do about hit. U godda face the fact dat Romans r stronzy assholes, specially when driving, or dat there's tons of shyknees turists + onelie gunna be more, dat the x-country we was born in has a maniacal clown for precedent + y'all will probly get 4 more yrs of hit, sorry. We don't god to accept the Dog bit, but u can't hide the fact dat 99% of el moondough dose + we got to live in dat whirled + keep our cool, not let it make us go crazy. Mush as we shun religion, there's sum things said dat make cense, like 'Dog grant me the serenity to xcept the things i cannot change + ..." however the rest of it goes, we'll get to that later, but this 1° step to us is about this serenity in accepting el moondough as is, the beautiful K-OS. And what bedder plaze to do hit but here in the heart of K-OS.
[We wrote sum other stuff, about how this relates to Textiloma, but wheel leave dat out of this for now since we're still working out how it will play out + don't want 2 ruin the book for no 1. We also deleted stuff about how this all jives w/ last week's post about K-OS + selfish machenes + how we need to xcept el moondough as is, nothing u dear Inurnet need to hear, but we write here to get hit out of our system. We god no beef w/selfish machenes, we think they'd do a bedder job of ruling el moondough than humuns. Moss limp I/O. God to xcept our roll as n anoymous cog in this serene clean machene, harbored in this body we was born with. A mirror generator of data, in the form of litterasure, the new jeans since we aint god no bio-illogical offspring of our one.]
31 May> Serene to us conjures mermaids, en español, sirens, but looking up etymology now guess she derives from latin serenus "calm, clear, unclouded" + also «from Proto-Italic *(k)sero- "dry," from PIE root *ksero- "dry," source also of Greek xeros "dry, arid"». Dry + unclouded, the dessert rat in us kin live w/ dat. Not dat we got nada gainst rain + clouds + we did never did git why ppl use the word 'dry' for boring. Contrary to public opinion, dare's sumping to be sed about watching paint dry.
Evidently sum construction worker Giuseppe in 1713 felt inklined to leave scratchiti... only visible in the morning light. Little did he know his work wd be immortalized further on the Inurnet, become 1 of anon I'm us.
What Ls? Started to read The Tunnel by William Gass, but wasn't into it so much, which is a shame as we really wanted to lose ourself in a big novel. Early on he asks "Is writing to yourself a healthier insanity than talking to yourself?" To which weed say sí señor. But beyond dat we just couldn't relate to his brand of insanity, but we's all about writing to yourself, the only way to stay true yo. Forget audience. Become anonymous.
Also continuing to digest Sperber + Wilson's Relevance: Communications + Cognition,... we started to read it in DC + thought may'b we'd said sumping about it here but cant find the post. La problema w/ spelling things wonky is u can't find them later by searching. The book's got intresting food for thought, just really dry.... not good dry, like jerky, but dry like whitemeat turkey. Technical + academic. A book our brother mentioned in his "SSES' notes, why we was reading it.
2 June> 530 am + for sum reason they are blaring the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack over loudspeakers in Piazza Venezia... guess they must be testing the soundsystem for the paraid later today, to celebrate when they voted to become a republic, ruled by an elected government instead of a dictating monarchy... tho currently there aint no government. Sumping mos ∀merikins probly dont know about is dat the General Data Protection Regulation wint into affect last week in the EU. Wich means that «personal data must be stored using pseudonymisation or full anonymisation, and use the highest-possible privacy settings by default, so that the data is not available publicly without explicit consent, and cannot be used to identify a subject...» Nice thing about living in the EU (tho Italy is on the brink of breaking it apart), dat + the right to be forgotten. Good place to disappear, become anonymous + be forgotten.
A month or so now into this weekend-only drinking, but even weekends now stomicking less + less. The less u drink the more just 1 glass affects u, like poison, fucks w/ yo sleep + dream cycle, just not enjoyable. Thinking of quitting altogether. Makes u realize tho how much other ppl drink, how much our social structure relies on it. The only thing worse than being the boring sober person in a bar full of tipsy people having a good time is being surrounded by shit-faced idiots when u aint. Wich is to say, who gives a shit what other folks think, specially when they're 3 sheets to the wind.
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