U-BiN D-tox 000: D-programming 1's 5elf ⅛ of th weigh 2 halving th str8 edge


4/25/22> «Keno Slum» = anagram 4 Elon Musk, who bot twitter 2day, s0 we took dat az a Q 2 jump 5hip... din't even last 1 year on there > Y? M.M.'s st8ment «message = medium» = commut8ive, 1 can't seper8 messages from th plat4m they're delivered on w/out B-coming part of th hippocrazy > Marshall McLuhan als0 said «1st we build the tools, then they build us».... what will twitter build of us? > or rather, y'all... we (anon I'm us, on B-½ of Cal A. Mari) R n0 longer a part of iT > now 5¢ense = onely plat4m 2 comunic8 w/ out5ide world... sorry iT aint interactive + y'all can't Ngage w/ iT... 5ince we don't use blogging 5oftware it'd B 2 hard 2 retr0fit w/ 1 of them message bored widgets + don't think weed want 2 deal w/ moder8ing comments > az we compile thi5 po5t, thi5 msg ju5t came in thru th Calamari Archive contact 4m (we ommitted th URL they were off course plugging):

     «God isn't a religion. / God's a relationship./ -Jesus /+♥︎+ / [XXX] / JMJ + SOS» >

... iF we had msg boreds they'd probly B full of such crap > geesus ≈ sausage backwoods az Lutz sez > + sum folk ask iF we have a mailing list but we don't want 2 deal w/ dat neither, nor do we think we'R important enuff 2, 5ame goes w/ 5ub5tacks... in4m8ion shd B free, naught B-hind a paywall or dat U halve 2 surrender yr personal data 2 5ubscribe 2 or B controlled by a 3rd party ap > 5hoot u5 N email (cal @ calamari URL) iF U got sumping 2 riposte or just want 2 say hi (msgs ≈ th above will just B ignored) > or check out th Calamari site 4 announcements or wheel try 2 post relevant more newsworthy items hear + try 2 B more cohearant/conventional in R use of language > N-E-waze, feels good 2 B off twitter, just a big toxic time-waster, last thing «trending» was how Steve Martin is B-ing cancelled 4 doing dat King Tut skit ages ago, shit's s0 5tupid... all «cancel culture» accomplishes is bringing attn 2 whatever they want canceled dat otherwise every 1 4got abt already

4/27> Y th need 2 communic8 @ all? we cd just keep a privet journal + onely interact w/ R bedder-½ > 4 th most part we rite thi5 2/4 R future 5elf, az a record of y/our Ǝxistence on thi5 planit > wat was going thru your noggin @ th time > U D-sided 2 due ∫um mentoll purging the5e pa5t few dayze, gunna spend less time in general on Inurnet, there's ju5t n0where intresting in cyber5pace 2 go n0 more > perhaps less time blogging hear on 5¢ense + more time writing books, making music + cr8ing art > gunna ⌚ less movies + read more b∞ks... th pandemic rein4ced/ScaL8ed ∫um of yr bad habits, ⌚ing TV during dinner or in bed > + less reading of «the daily noose» az U call iT, witch 2-gether w/ «social media» has B-come th goto sorce of global terrorism, dat blu COViD out of proportion, from just another virus 2 ∫um sorta geo-political mass hysteria dat paralyzed th planit > th big line item tho = n0 hooch > az w/ many ppl, U did a dry january + more recently U tried 2 just drink on weekends, but seams an X-cuse always comes up, U meat ppl 4 dinner, or U'R in NYC, or last week yr bedder-½ was on vacation or generally iT just B-comes reward mechanism or U want 2 celebr8 sumping or other > naught dat U drink a lot + U've nvr done nothing 5tupid U regret, iT ain't a «problem» (5pecially 5ince U don't got kids s0 can due whatever th fuck U want in yr 5pare time), iT's just th habitual n8ure of iT dat bothers U > s0 cliché, rite? liberal middle-aged cupple dat likes 2 drink wine + watch NetFlix, yawn

> thi5 aint th 1st time U've gone on abt thi5 neither, C: yr «Confessions of an everyday wino» post from a decade ag0 > drinking gets harder w/ age, fucks w/ yr sleep more + more + U feel th FX more th next morning > + U don't need th Xtra calories, U weighed 177 @ biginning of th yr + rite away lost ~5 lbs in dry January, but Feb-Mar U'd gain it back iF u 5tarted 2 drink more + couldn't remain B-low 170 > 5witching 2 drinking 2 bottles/week U shed ~5 more (currently @ 167, th past 2 weeks B-low 170), now U just need 2 lose ~5 more + keep iT off > th above win0 po5t (where U al5o complained how drinking conflicted w/ yr running) als0 accounted 4 yr 1st vertig0 spell, witch in th last 3-5 yrs got increasingly worse, culmin8ing w/ yr Ménière's diagnosis in 2019 > drinking complic8s/aggrav8es th issue but als0 helps U 2 cope, 2 5elf-medic8 > yr mineareyes d-zzz = much bedder in th past year or 2, yr ears constantly ring but naught s0 many dizzy spells (or U R just getting Used 2 iT) > gets worse around thi5 time of year tho, w/ allergies > yesterday went 4 long run + beyond just sneezing, itchy eyes, etc. yr skin got all itchy + rashy + even welted up in a few spots + yr head wa5 especially itchy 5in¢e U just 5haved iT > 5lept like 5hit last nite, waking up every 2 hrs w/ head 5pinning + ju5t laying there ½-5leeping/5pinning + then feeling hungover when U got up this a.m. even tho U haven't had N-E thing 2 drink for 5 dayzz > pressure differential also aggrav8s mineareyes, U'R ≈ walking barometer > pressure front came thru yesterday, 20° drop 2day from yesterday

> 2019 was especially bad az we also had bad 5houlder pain + th 5tress of buying a home + moving + 5leeping on th floor/couches in the 2-3 month interim while R 5tuff was being 5hipped from Italy > + naught 5leeping well aggrav8s yr mineareyes + when yr mineareyes = bad U can't 5leep in a 5elf-fuel-filling negativ feedback l∞p > in 2019 U also resorted 2 THC/CBD on perhaps ~10 occassions + iT helped w/ sholder pain but dint do 5hit 4 yr mineareyes d-zzz > sin¢e weed + mushrooms R now legal in D.C. y'all figured U'd mix things up la5t week 2 make yr bedder-½'s staycation more X-citing (din't go nowhere b/c travelling sucks rite now), 5pecially sin¢e U'd nvr done shr∞ms b4 > took 1 peace of chocolate (1–3 = «micro-dosing») 2 start, s0 din't feel much xcept just kind of mell-0 > R bedder-½ said iT 5topped their hot flashes, s0 may B sum truth 2 all th positive FX sum folk swear by > Saturday nite figured weed halve a THC gummy in stead of bottle of wine > U both took ½ th recommended dose but 5till they were really 5trong since U got n0 tolerance (way stronger than gummies u bot b4 in Colorado ± Oregon) + neither of U we'R digging iT, just curled in2 a ball w8ing tel iT was overwith... not @ all th mell-0 high U remember from th '70s + '80s in Mexico («Don't Harsh Our Mellow, Dude,» as Maureen Dowd wrote, witch shd B requisite reading 4 N-E curious abt THC gummies)... s0 then y'all just got 2 thinking, Y th need 2 take N-E-thing? what's wrong w/ reality? U have yr health + eachother, what more does 1 need? more than N-E-thing U feel 4tun8 U halve yr bedder-½, whatever y'all do U do iT 2gether, feeding off each other's N-urgey

> s0 U made thi5 pact w/ yr bedder-½ 2 naught drink or do drugs + onely watch movies on th weekend, amongst other things > really U R just getting back 2 yr originul tru n8ure, how U were when U were a str8 edge teen, din't drink or do drugs B-tween ages 15-25 (naught dat U didn't b4 th age of 15) + then ages 25-40 U drank on occassion, «socially» az they 5ay, but naught usually @ home > never oned a TV in high school or college + thru th '90s + then y'all broke down + got 1 (given 2 U free) 4 a while around Y2K when U moved 2 NYC but din't really watch iT, onely reelly 5tarted watching movies/shows when th 5treaming services came around, b4 dat ppl just rented movies 1 or 2x a week, remember those video 5tores? naught dat there's nothing wrong w/ movies, specially when there's n0 commercials, but sumtimes U feel U're being «programmed», specially w/ Netflix th ppl in those shows R always drinking + 5moking cigarettes > binge-watching Madmen in Rome U remember how cool they looked drinking + iT made U want 2 have a glass of hooch in yr hand wile ⌚ing it > thi5 brainwashing = no diffrent than 5ocial media ± reading the daily noose, + don't get us 5tarted on all the violence in most of these 5hows/movies...

> @ th end of th day iT's ju5t a big time waster, or «Filler» az Ian MacKaye wd call iT, weather it's TV, drugs, alcohol, or religion:

What happened to you
You're not the same
Something in your head
Made a violent change
It's in your head
It's in your head
It's in your head

Your brain is clay
What's going on? You picked up a bible
And now you're gone
You call it religion
You're full of shit

> it's all abt thinking 4 yr54elf, B-ing clear + present + lucid, knot muddled, witch U were 5tarting 2 feel more + more iF U drank, just naught 5leeping well + feeling in a fog th next day... just ain't worth iT, U don't even really Njoy drinking N-E-more > 5pose running in2 Ian th other day had ∫umping 2 do w/ this change (tho th seeds were already planted in yr head 2 5have iT), U were in5pired by how 5harp his memory wa5 > ∫umtimes U look @ a trailer 4 a movie wondering did U see this already? + y'all realize U did but probly watched it wile drinking a bottle of wine + semi-dozing off s0 don't reely remember iT > 5peaking of Ian MacKaye, Sunday went up 2 Mt Pleasant 2 check out th Lost Origins «Gallery» (in quotes 5in¢e iT was out5ide in N alley) opening of photos by Lucian Perkins + Alec MacKaye, from early D.C. harDCore dayz.... Bad Brains playing @ house parties or Madam's Organ > y'all went 2 early 4 th bands tho, instead walked back + hung out in Malcolm X park listening 2 the infamous Sunday drum circ-L witch y'all had nvr checked out b4 til now

> th other thing is U haven't bin reading very much lately, now think of how much more focused free time U'll have 2 read + mos def U'll B more productive in th evenings... s0 yah, mayB 5¢ense will B back 2 U talking abt what U red + what U're working on rather than what movies U watched while drinking a bottle of cava > thi5 week U finished up th 1st section (of 8) of iSBN + 5ubmitted iT 4 th DiAGRAM chapbook contest whose deadline is in a few dayz (U called iT BiN 000) >technically U R ⅛ done, 7 more BiNs 2 go, but U'R further along then dat... U've drafted TXT 4 more than ½ of iSBN, U just need 2 plug iT in2 In D-zine + tinker w/ iT > what else? Matthew Klane + James Belflower R finishing up HiST this week, but they'R doing all the work str8 in2 In D-zine s0 there ain't much U need 2 do > Nat Baldwin also released The Red Barn on cassette, reading sum of th stories w/ accompanying stand-up bass, but again, U din't need 2 do much 4 dat release xcept help out w/ th cover (repurposing art from th b∞k), Nat did all the recording + released it on his Triptick Tapes label


> input-wise, bin reading The Man Who Mistoook His Wife For a Hat by Oliver Sacks, witch mayB U red when it 1st came out but it'S bin s0 long U 4get... intresting case studies in abnormal pyschology, which back in junior college U considered majoring in after taking a class in iT > almost finished w/ Worsted, witch U've bin savoring now 4 almost a year, brot iT w/ U 2 Bologna + back > U X-changed a bunch of b∞ks w/ 11:11 press, s0 now yr TO READ pile is abt 2 topple over + bury U alive > U took The Garden by Louis Armand off th top of th 5tack + 5tarted 2 read iT... intresting, but very druggy, az iF he just smoked a bunch of hash in Morocco + rote 1 uninterrupted 150 pg stream of consciousness 5entence w/ no punctu8ion... hope yr writing doesn't come off dat weigh? sure plenty of ppl think U take drugs 2 write such crazy 5hit, but truth is U nvr did, naught even drinking + writing... U do 99% of yr writing in th morning drinking coffee, 5ame goes 4 blogging hear on 5¢ense... tho now dat y'all ain't watching movies in th evenings mayB U'll rite more in thi5 freed up lucid time


11:11 booty haul

> ∫umtimes in th evening w/ a fool bell-E U don't halve th brain capacity 4 heavy reading b/c th blood rushes 2 yr stomach 2 digest, in witch case dat's when U mite read ∫umping liter or mayB dat's when U skim th daily noose just s0 U no wat's going on in th world or do a X-word or develip sum other habit > replacement therapy 4 drinking cava? 5oda water! th fizz = ½ of what U crave, Y U dig cava + pr0secc0 s0 much, ½ th time U Used 2 dilute iT w/ 5oda H2O+ ice N-E-weigh > U had a friend over 4 dinner th other nite + they also 5topped drinking (4 similar reasons b/c iT innerfears w/ 5leep) + they were lamenting abt how when U go 2 a bar they don't have bedder mocktails, or scheming of altern8 non-alcoholic things 2 drink in loo of hooch, but we dig H2O, nothing tastes bedder > bedder yet, 5oda water (u5ing 5odastream) w/ lemon ± lime ± mint leaves... what was iT Gian said abt H2O, how water = 4 every 1 + iF U're publishing sumping 4 every 1 U'R publishing water.... s0? guess dat's th diffrence B-tween U + G, publishing water sounds like sumping 2 aspire 2, U onely wi5h yr writing = fluid az H2O

> @ N-E r8, dat's th plan going 4word, 2 B fluid + lucid w/ a clear head ≈ clean machine

1012 <(current)> 1014 > SUGAR LACED LARVA: a history of drug ab/use + Agnomia
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