118 pg laundry list 2 inspect our history of luminous moving 2 fall asleep 2 instead of counting sheep


5/6/23 > Done deal, Souled the hows! Huge w8 lifted... such a stressful process. Had an offer on 2sday, inspection sposed 2 B wednesday so got all prepared 4 that, then they switched it 2 thursday, so another sleepless nite imagining all the worst case scenarios. Even tho we weren't present 4 the inspection (weird rules about buyer/seller not interacting, only via agent proxy) we found out buyer was good friends with a friend/colleague of ours (same 1 that got covid a day after being our 1st dinner guest during p&emic in July 2021) + knew our bedder-½ by reputation. So had that 2 our advantage, as we had this friend nudge potential buyer saying how gr8 house was (also helps that bedder-½ votes on their 10-ure this week!). So another day on pins + needles w8ing 4 results of inspection... deadline was 6 PM friday. 4 PM rolled around + still no word... then finally our agent asks if we're home, that he's coming over, no word weather good news or bad, but tried 2 visualize him walking up 2 our door w/ a bot-L of shampain in h&. They forwarded inspection report 2 read wile we w8ed + we opened it + saw a 118 page laundry list of issues + our heart sank, had a panic attack skimming thru the itemized list of cracks in molding, moss growing on bricks outside, leaky faucets, light bulbs out, windows that were difficult 2 open, etc. not knowing what all this meant. Then our agent arrives + says this is all normal, all petty issues, no deal-breakers + that buyer wd negoti8 monetary compensation of a few thous& (witch in scheme of things = pennies), so we immediately responded back of course + rounded their # up 2 B sure, more docuSigning + we got prosecco glasses out + our agent lingered 10 minutes in case they responded rite back, but they didn't. Technically they now had another 72 hrs 2 respond, but seemed so cut + dry, at least from what agents said. But worse case scenarios percoL8ed in our head, perhaps buyer was reading laundry list more carefully, scouring Angi's List 2 see how much stuff really costs 2 fix (even tho nothing really needed fixing). We 8 dinner + watched a movie trying 2 not think about it. 8 PM, 9, rolls around + were starting 2 panic, 10 rolls around + we're about 2 try 2 go 2 sleep tho we know there's no weigh in hell wheel B able 2 + then around 10:30 our agent texted us that the buyer sined off, done deal! So we DocuSigned, jumped up + down then finally got sum needed sleep.

5/7> So now B-gins packing phase + arranging 4 move, we arranged 4 moving quote visit that almost overlapped w/ inspection, total used car salesman spiel, almost stopped them mid-sentence 2 tell em stop wasting R time... the whole moving industry is such a racket. We got 3 quotes 2 B sure but going w/ who we used 2 move us here (Oz). Still haven't even signed our lease on CPW, but it's kind of building U need 2 reserve move-in d8 + send things like "certificate of insurance" so dealing w/ all that + getting parking permits 4 movers 2 block off space, change of address, switching utilities, etc. Yesterday went 2 bedder-½'s office 2 pack their office... a lot of books, in addition 2 Ↄalamari Arↄhive, witch we consolid8 + repacked. Getting a U-haul L8er this week 2 bring 'em back 2 the house.

bedder-½'s office


Ↄalamari Arↄhive consolid8ed down to 20 boxes (+ 5 or so more boxes @ the house)

These moves get more + more complic8ed, this being the 1st where we had 2 sell house during the process. AccumuL8ing more + more stuff, far cry from moves in college when you'd just buy your friend a 6-pac 2 borrow their pick-up truck 4 an hour. A trick we use when we have a hard time sleeping is 2 count the years backwards from 2023, 2022, etc. + have each breath/# sum up that year, like our life flashing b4 R eyes. Usually we fall asleep b4 we get 2 the year we = born (1966), but if naught we count deckaids backwards till we get 2 the beginning of time.

In the ~30 yrs since we've lived w/ our bedder-½ we've moved 24 times. Another 23 in the years b4 we met them. Here's a complete history of our moving:

  • 1966–1979—obviously b4 ages 3–4 we don't remember moves 1st-hand, but depending on who you ask we moved a few times when our parents kidnapped us back + 4th from Oregon (2-3 diffrent addresses) + Mexico (Ajijic + Mazatlan), then between 1971–1979 we 4 the most part lived on Caroline drive in Portland (~ 5 places in total)
  • 1980–1982—moved to Mexico, Ocampo #33 in Ajijic + also Terranova + Ottawa streets in Guadalajara (3)
  • 1982—moved to RLS boarding school in Monterey, CA
  • 1983–84—moved 2 apartment on Castro street near train tracks in Mountain View, CA (living alone last 2 years of high school... moves after this on our own)
  • 1985–6—moved to 231 Cowper street, Palo Alto
  • 198790—moved to Empire Grade (cant remember #) in Bonny Doon (Santa Cruz mountains) then bought a truck w/ camper shell + lived in Santa Cruz, 1st parked behind a woman's house on Mora st (near River st) + then in the UCSC camper lot + elsewhere temporarily (4 example @ an office park in Sunnyvale when we worked there for a summer)... obviously these moves were EZ, all U had 2 do was put key in ignition + drive 2 the new place (4)
  • 1991—traveled the world then moved to Tucson in Fall 1991 (borrowed mom's Ford Bronco 2 move our stuff from California), lived on 6th st (near Stone)
  • 19921993—moved to 4th ave near University (borrowing friend's pickup) in Tucson
  • 1994—moved to Custer, South Dakota (address was Rural Route #9) + then to a monthly hotel in Hill City, everything we owned in the back of our pickup truck. This picture B-low pretty much sums up the st8 of our existence @ this point, how we "moved" from Tucson to the Black Hills of SD, stopping in Utah along the way 2 climb crack... everything we own is in the back of this beat-up Ford Courier (important stuff in the barrel that had a lid we could secure down to keep dry in case it rained):

  • 1994 cont.—fall of '94 drove back 2 California 2 store our "stuff" @ my mom's house by Mt Shasta, sold the truck then went to Nice, France for 2 months (living 1st w/ brother's girlfriend, then in a hotel, then in a cottage behind our cousin's swanky place in Cap D'Antibe). (5 total for '94)
  • 1995—lived @ our mom's place in Mexico 4 a month or 2 then back 2 California + bought a van 2 live in, so @ this point pared down all our belongings 2 what would fit in a van. Went back 2 Tucson + lived nomadically doing geological surveying jobs around Southwest US + Mexico. @ this point we became reunited w/ our bedder-½. We had never lived w/ them b4, but since we lived in a van guess U cd say we sort of moved in w/ them, or at least we crashed @ their house when we weren't doing field jobs, on Mountain Ave in Tucson. So @ this point forward all the moves were w/ our bedder-½. (2)
  • 1996—moved from Mountain Ave to 8th street behind Tucson high, then briefly 2 a place on Prince St + then 2 a small little converted garage on an alley (now called Jacobus ave) off University Blvd. traded our van 4 an Isuzu Trooper so was living more permanently w/ our bedder-½, in fact we got married end of '96 (4)
  • 1997—our brother died in April 1997, a month or 2 L8er we packed a U-haul trailer + drove east w/ no particular destination in mind, 1st stopping in Savannah, GA 4 the summer, on 110 W. Gaston Street.

stopping in New Orleans on way 2 Savannah, everything we own in the Trooper + small trailer we pulled

  • 1997 cont.—fall of 1997 moved 2 Portsmouth, NH (123 Market st.)
  • 1998–1999—moved back 2 Tucson (to house on 301 N. Norton Ave). We barely made it back in above Trooper, literally running on 3 cylinders driving no more than 40 MPH uphill.
  • 2000–2001—moved to NYC, 438 E. 89th St. Apt 4C (4th floor walk-up). Everything we owned we fit in a small SUV (Suzuki Gran Vitara) that our friend wanted driven 2 NYC so let us use free. We literally had stuff on our laps while we drove across the country.
  • 2002—moved to Hell's Kitchen (350 W. 57th St. Apt 3H)
  • 2004—moved to West Village (224 Thompson St. #28... 5th floor walkup), these moves were all DiY, renting Uhauls + double-parking, etc.
  • 2005—moved to Lower East Side (35 Essex St. #7B)
  • 2006—nightmare upstairs neighbor situation so moved to East Village (202 E. 7th St. #1D)
  • 2007—nightmare landlord situation so moved to Upper West Side (15 W. 74th St. #8A)... this 5th floor walkup to 5th floor walkup move we remember our arms cramping up involuntarily until we looked like the person on the cover of Lutz' I Looked Alive
  • 2008—moved to Nairobi, Kenya, we stored sum stuff in New Mexico, the rest we brought on the plane. We lived briefly in a cottage behind some asshole's house in Runda, then moved 2 a converted garage in Gigiri (2)

the sum of possessions we moved 2 Kenya with

  • 2009—move from Kenya back 2 the st8s, 1st to New Mexico 2 get our stuff, then 2 a temporary apartment in the West Village (69 8th Avenue, Apt 53) where we lived ~6 months
  • 2010—moved to loft space in DUMBO (139 Plymouth st # 409 ) for ½ a year b4 moving 2 Rome (via Titta Scarpetta #28 in Trastevere). The move 2 Rome was the 1st time that wasn't DiY, Bioversity Intl (where our bedder-½ got a job) paid for it, for insurance/customs reasons they wouldn't even let us pack boxes ourselves
  • 2012—moved from Rome to NYC/Harlem (560 Riverside Dr. Apt 18F)... again, the move was expensed + we didn't have 2 pack anything
  • 2015—after living nomadically for 6 months based in Rome (sleeping in 65 different beds that year + travelling 100k miles) moved from NYC to Capitol Hill, DC (211 5th Street, SE). Hired movers b/c it was paid 4, but packed it + took a van load ourselves.
  • 2016—moved to Georgetown (1525 26th St. NW), renting a van + making a few trips
  • 2018—moved to Rome (66 Piazza Santi Apostoli, attic of Palazzo Colonna), paid for w/ full-service movers
  • 2019—moved back to DC to current house on Swann St, again paid 4
And now, that makes this our 24th move w/ our bedder-½ + another 23 b4 that, 47 diffrent homes, almost 1x per year. The move d8 is May 24/25, so 16 days + counting...

1085 <(current)> 1087 > Countdown til contingencies expire to appraise a prototype for useless machines that use us to blast off
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