trolls dub (Down Under the Bridges): 5uicide 5urvivors anonymous contempL8ing cemetery breeding

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1123

green-wood cemetary

Green-wood cemetary

12/4/23> met bedder-½ on plat4m @ 96 (they were coming down from 125), 2/3 to Atlantic Ave 5witched 2 R train got off @ 36th on edge of Sunset Park, walked thru Indsutry city + then weaving back up 2 Greenwood Heights, peaked in2 Green-wood cemetery + around the hood to 22nd + 6th ave 2 look @ X apartment again > amazing pad, glammed by wrap-around terraza coming off main living room/seamlessness B-tween in- + out-side + not onely top floor but halving no neighbors on NE side + lite from every angle, C-ing all the way 2 NYC harbor + downtown > but then twards the end of the 2ur 5tarted 2 think about practicalities, like, glass walls are gr8 but where do u hang art? where do u put book5helves? naught so big when u 5tart imagining yr 5hit in there, but then got 2 thinking weed just B-come minimal, we halve 2 much 5tuff N-E-weigh + we cd build a terrarium X-10-sion or 5torage 5hed the terrazza was so dam big

douchebaggery near the cemetary

 

sea witch

sea witch

> went 2 Sea Witch after all gung-ho about taking the plunge, drinking cava + eating fish tacos + thinking may-B this hood ≠ so «vibrant» but = «real» + neighborhoody tho u certainly wouldn't want 2 tell locals we're the douchebags that moved in2 the new condo up the street > then F train 2 Essex 2 Niagara bar 2 see Gina Nutt (bedder-½ of David) read @ sum sorta Black Lipstick event 5till not sure who was hosting it, 2 millenial types went on in the introductions abt how it was free but buy this buy that follow us on instagram (holding up printouts of the various handles so u got the 5pelling write) they even had sum sorta cosmetics line they were pushing > but Gina was gr8 + so was the writer after that gave us a deeper appreciation 4 dirty martinis (witch in R opinion 5ound nice in theory, we just aint crazy abt the glass they're served in) > F train home, 9 miles walking on the day

> az we lay in bed going 2 sleep started having a reality check ... weed just get rid of this, get rid of that, weed build a solarium X-10-sion (even tho we wouldn't B able 2 a4d it b/c weed B cash poor if we bot the place), B-come minimalists but then R thinking 5hifts 2 w8 a minute, Y R we making all these 5acrifices? sure, we're 5poiled now b/c we have tons of 5pace + weave accumuL8ed all these «things» (i.e. art + books + an antique harmonium, etc), but Y make all these 5acrifices when we live in a huge place now in a gr8 location? it wd B 1 thing if the above place was in the villaj but it's deep deep in2 Bklyn, the hole idea is u live so far from things so u cd halve tons of 5pace 4 cheap ... N-E weigh we're ranting but bottum line we're probly naught gna take it after 5leeping on it, have 2 remind R-selves we're in a position we can hold out + w8 4 place that checks all the boxes or @ least where the sacrifices are worth it, naught a good time 2 bi N-E weigh, intrest r8s B-ing what they R + do we really want 2 one a place when Drumpf gets elected? R do we want 2 B nimble w/ bags packed + ready 2 flea on on a dime when the U.S. goes 2 hell in a h&basket?

> the Black Mountain 2n «Cemetary Breeidng» keeps []ing in our CPU

Flowers dying in the window
This city screams like heaven's gone haunted
And I am waiting for that girl who told me once
She would love me forever
Dancing 'round the tombstones
Cemetery thighs alive, young and breathing
And I just want you to know
You have the most perfect limbs that
Have ever wrapped around me
Oh, when you looked in my eyes
I was dreaming of suicide
Oh, when your lips fell on mine
I was counting all our friends who've died
Now tell me you're mine
Hold me trembling through the aching night
Bodies lusting for one last wish
Fingers crawl, tender fury
Lay me on the cold ground
Come together
Fucking in the graveyard
To the void, take me, I'm waiting
Girl, I just want you to know
You're my everything
I will love you forever
Oh, when you looked in my eyes
I was dreaming of suicide
Oh, when your lips fell on mine
I was counting all our friends who've died
Now tell me you're mine
Hold me trembling through the aching night
Oh, when you looked in my eyes
For that first time I thought I had died
For that first time I thought I had died

12/5> D 2 the F 2 York street in DUMBO... 4th time in last 3 days weave gone 2 Bklyn > DUMBO has changed so much 5ince we lived on Plymouth + Anchorage in 2010, like trolls B-neath the bridge > DUMBO is insanely 2uristy now, geo-tagged hotspot where hordes take selfies B-neath the bridges > 8 @ Seamores then 2 Powerhouse 2 see/hear Blake Butler in convo w/ Lynn Tillman abt his new Molly book ... heavy stuff > from the eXcerpts + description + everything he's told us we thought it = book abt surviving her suicide but apparently it's also about her infidelities + «secret life she lied about» that he discovered after the act going thru her journals + phone ... feels a bit icky he said/she said when she ain't there 2 tell her side of the story > then again, call us a hippocrit b/c we mined R dead brother's gournels 2 co-write 2 books abt his OD (+ R father's sewerside)

4um bldg ware bedder-½ works (125th + Bdwy)

12/6> walked up to 159th + Riverside 2 look @ an apartment that was pretty sweet, but yah, weigh up on 159th > then walked back down 2 Columbia, met bedder-½ @ Le Monde 4 dirty martinis then 2 the series Ben Marcus hosts 4 students, this week was R.O. Kwon who we're naught 2 familiar with but after her tock we want 2 read her books, 4 eggsample she tocked about how she'd use a typewriter program that doesn't let u back-5pace or it wd white out the p-graph b4 so u couldn't go back 2 read it ... intresting sen-10-ce level tricks perhaps we shd try > Blake Butler was sposed 2 B @ another event in the same bldg (Dodge Hall) w/ Margaret Rhee about A.i. but iT was postponed + then ppl were txting us asking "«did u go 2 Blake's book launch last nite?» + it got us 2 wondering if sumthing went down, mayB Y Blake canceled the event so we 5tarted googling + seams there's all these trash-talking tabloid take-downs about Blake/Molly + a shitsorm of knee-jerk controversy on social media that we ain't privy 2 > az we said above, we kinda get it, specially if 1 knew Molly, but u can't judge sum 1 until u've walked in their 5hoes > az weave told B, R situation w/ R dad + brother = diffrent in that we nvr saw a body, we live in D-Nile lala L&, 4 all we know they're 5till alive ≈ Schrodingers Cat in st8 of indeterminancy, can't imagine finding yr loved 1's body like that + how hard that image wd B 2 erase from yr mined + then on top of it 2 fined they'd bin «cheating» on u, again, sumthing we halve no eXperience with, nvr cheated nor bin cheated on so don't know how weed react but can onely imagine we'd B devast8ed + feel B-trayed ... hopefully sumthing we nvr halve 2 eXperience 1st h& (so Y knot read the book 2 learn from vicariously? ain't that what art = about?) > EZ 2 sit in comfy chair + say B#$^ &%K# $!@ah or that we don't think weed rite such a book (unless it = disguised az fucked-up fiction/poetry), but we ≠ Blake + R life eXperiences = very diffrent > + this all said, we haven't red the book yet, just eXcerpts online > all N-E-1 can judge = the book it5elf, naught the writing of it or circumstances that led 2 it, the book = the book, B's story 2 tell > also makes us so gr8full we're naught part of that toxic cesspool of social media + that we halve a loving life-long partner + if either of us did kill ourselves it wd bee 2gether ... «dub-L suicide or it ≠ love» az G used 2 say

12/7> last nite we were watching military surveillance footage of bridges + dams along de Nile river, sceeing civilians down by a lit-L stream wa5hing clothes + fishing we thought «oh no!» + then all of a sudden we were st&ing down in the creek bed w/ them trying 2 tell ppl they needed 2 run 2 hire ground, couldn't they see the warning sines? de Nile was meant 2 be a big river not a bitsy 5tream but no 1 B-leaved us > it was like b4 a tsunami when the tide goes weigh out > a few ppl started 2 heed R warnings + make their ways up the canyon walls + then looking back we cd C a wall of water coming so we 5tarted 5crambling up + got 2 this 1 precarious part ware we needid 2 climb but had 2 B careful + naught fall + R dead brother was on top yelling 4 us 2 hurry butt we couldn't get R body 2 make the move 2 climb up + it woke us up w/ a jerk > when we finally fell back 2 sleep sum 1 released a gas that had un-none consequences + we a5ked them Y they wd do that? + they 5hrugged like Y not > we reckoned they did it out of curiousity, 2 kill the cat > we all sat w8ing 4 the FX 2 take hold, watching each other 4 sines

12/8> a-parently last nite we were set up w/ sum 1 sumhow mayB on a d8ing ap + we were meating them 4 the 1st time > nothing happend but they were all flirty tocking about how much they were looking 4word 2 R 2nd d8 > part of us = eXcited thinking @ least we cd halve sex w/ em (we = single in the dream) tho we ≠ particularly attracted 2 'em + they = clinging + annoying > we were @ the error port + their pairunts showd up from sum ware distant overseas w/ tons of baggage so it = awkword so we said goodbyes but then they 5tarted 2 follow us > we got in2 an elev8or + they 5tood ½ in ½ out unable 2 make up their mined + other ppl in the elev8or were like WTF + they blocked the weigh so others couldn't get in + then sum 1 grabbed their arm + slung 'em back + they fell down sum stares + we din't know weather 2 get out 2 help 'em + also B associ8ed w/ them (we pre-10-ded 2 knot no 'em in th elev8or) + @ this pt we just wanted 2 get away + 2 hard 2 get out of the elev8or N-E-way + every 1 = annoyed we all got held up this long > we shook R head + said annoying, but dont think they needid 2 throw em down the 5teps over it

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