DC.craigslist.INT – Vertigo ice mashine maid uv tinnitus (*sum assembly reakwired)


24 April 2019> Resieved + put together our Schwinn elliptical today... 1 of the more challenging "some assembly required" items we've assembled (b-sides the Sole elliptical from Italian instructions last marzo). Seeing the Schwinn logo was like a whiff of play-doh... my 1° bikes as a littler kid were Schwinns. What Ls? Sold sum shitty wire-frame shelves to a hoarder in a mini-van otherwise no bites on the fancier stuff, guess we need to lower prices tho we aint in no hurry cuz we can use most of the stuff til our shipment arrives. The dining room closet where the shelves was is bare now, adding an extra 20" x 103" = 14' sq ft alcove to our dining room.

25 April> Last night we were at sum podunk dive on a far away island in somewhere like Mexico or Thailand, we wanted to get to an even more reclusive camp, or glamp, on the other end but couldn't get a taxi. Chiara Barzini was there saying it was ez, but the driver she aksed shrugged + said he was occupado (he was just sitting there shooting the shit w/ his friends). We saw a taxi outside but on closer inspection it was in a ditch burnt out, and we said, "now there's a drug deal gone bad." Above the meter it said Ajijic, Jalisco, Mexico so we said something to the guy standing next to it, that we used to live there + he said, "no soy de allí, soy de otra parte." We pregrunted if he knew of a taxi + he said he could take us to 1. He had this beat-up black skinny car shaped like a coffin, must of bin a hearst driver. There was a wireframe skeleton decorated w/ lights under the dashboard + a gun pointed at the skeleton's crotch, like that's how he died + the camera captured him in this position of death (like Pompeii victims or Jerri Blank's dad in Strangers With Candy) + the driver left the corpse + gun there as a souvenir. We aksed if he'd take us to this far away resort glamp, but he said his car was no good. He was taking us thru some muddy abandoned lot, looked like a mining site, w/ cows + then a herd of baboon... our bedder-½ was starting to get worried. Finally we got to a more civilized hotel, we aksed the clerk there but he said there were no taxis, but we suspected he was saying this cuz we weren't staying there. We thought we should at least tip the guy who drove us there (tho our bedder-½ said he was driving that way anyway, no skin off his chieken), but when we went up to him, he became a woman cop + we only realized this as we put our arm around him/her to thank him for driving us. She smiled at us like she thought we was hitting on her. She was stocky + round + u could barely tell she was a woman. So then we were debating what to do, wether to just stay at this more silivized plaze.

A few hours later we went to get a cup of coffee at this hotel, but there were no cups. We had to stand in line at the bar to ask for a cup + after serving a few people the barkeep shut down the register + took us outside, which was really annoying cuz this was the same thing she did the morning before. We figgered this was a deterrent to keep people from scamming free coffee, to make it really complicated. She went to some shed, then disappeared. Then we noticed there were cheap paper cones next to a coffee machine outside so we went to make some (u had to put grinds in a filter). At first weak tea-like water came out so we dumped it, then dark coffee started coming out, more + more, filling the paper cone so we found a big plastic cup + filled that but the thick sludge kept coming + wasn’t getting any more dilute. We looked up, following the mechanisms leading up to a 2-story sorta bonsai garden mountain that was capped w/ this large machine + sludge was pouring out of the seams. This coffee contraption looked like the ice machine in Mosquito Coast. So we climbed up to investigate, which wasn’t easy, climbing vertically up trees + rocks + crumbling hillsides. As we got near the top level we could hear our bedder-½ up there w/ a few other women + she said “oh good, here’s Derek, let’s ask him.” She pointed out a squirrel that—rather than jump across a small seam between 2 rocks—chose to jump in the water + swim around + she thought that was indicative that sumping was rong w/ the architecture (evidently this was part of the house we just bot). We said squirrels were known to get psychotic + act out irrationally, that it probly had rabies + they should stay away from it.

Dang, at least insomnia makes for productive sueños... still not sleeping so well, but bedder. Doing yoga a few times a day to work out the issues w/ our sholder, these empty rooms is great for it. Sun salutations + child's pose especially, working thru the pain, eggnawledging hit. Great thing bout this journull is dat we (or any 1 w/ similure ailments) kin go back + read what we rote before when we was halving similure issues + the 12 steps we prescribed.

26 April> 2 girls were being executed, we forget for what or who the girls were (weave bin rewatching The Leftovers, so maybe the girls were modeled after Justin Theroux's dotter + her saucy friend). We was meant to witness the execution, don't know why... me + this other guy were journihilists. There were 2 executioners w/ rifles + a 5th person in the room that never said nutting, a shadowy figure. At 1st me + this other journihilist were off to the side at an angle where we couldn't see the girls, just the guys shooting. But we were afraid the bullets would ricochet or blood would splatter so we went behind the executioners. Both the girls were wearing bikini bottoms + T-shirts. The other journihilists was into it, excited cuz he'd never witnessed an execution before. I din't want to see it tho so was gonna close my eyes, but i could still see + the blonde girl was saying i shouldn't witness this + said "Derek can see! Derek can see!" + got all hysterical, like she was more concerned about me seeing her executed then her being executed. The guards were very professional + said exceptions couldn't be made, that this needed to be done. But cuz she went into hysterics, we had to wait til the temperature got back to 15° C + now it was 20° C. I turned my back + buried my head in my arms as the temperature dropped. I heard 1 gun fire. Then heard the other gun cock + then fire. I could hear sounds like bodies slumping over, gurgling. The other journihilist was giving us the play by play of what happened, that they were shot in the stomach + suffering, bleeding a lot. I started to cry, at 1st ashamed cuz we were sposed to be professional + all dat, but then i figgered that if u didn't cry u weren't humun.

Then we was running an ultra-marathon w/ all these obstickles, thru rivers, hopping on rocks, etc. We were in the lead pack, but just following what the leaders did. But then we realized they were being too careful, taking their time to find the rite combination of rocks to jump on + we just started wading thru the water + got in the lead. But then it got to a confusing part w/ barricades trying to route us this way + that. We started going the wrong way, then backtracked thru a corral that led us thru security. The guards aksed if we had any money + we laughed, told them we were running a marathon, of course we didn't carry no money. They didn't speak in glish so sum 1 behind us translated in whatever language they was speaking, maybe shyknees. We were incredulous that we had to go thru all this... din't they know we were in the middle of running an marathon?! They said if we were in the middle of a marathon, then why were carrying a dumbell in our left hand. We looked down + sure enough, we were carrying a 10 lb dumbell! We joked at first, saying it was for exorcise + did a few curls for their benefit, but then said we didn't need it anyway + were glad to give it up, thinking how much faster we could go without it. We got thru security/csustoms + was still in the lead, but the main pack caught up to us. We thought we could win now, but had to stop to take a pee 1st.

28 April> Dint have nada to dream last nite, or the nite b4, knot dat we can record anyhow. Had a bout of vertigo yesterday afternoon, for a few hours all we cod due was lay dare thinking we was dying, wondering if we had brain cancer or sum psycho-sinpathetic risponse (our mother is on her deth bed + perhaps we're in d-Nile of dat, not to menshun the stress of this move). If we stood up our head spun, if we laid down + closed our eyes our cabeza gyrated in darknest. When it happend last week in Arlington we thought maybe it was from Claritin, so we stopped taking dat + also stopped taking Advil for our sholder (we're a mess rite now). Our right ear is also back to ringing + baysickly deaf in dat ear, so we got to wondering if we gots Ménière’s sindrome, but any hippochondriac w/ google can self-die-agnose themselves w/ virtually whatever day wand. Allergies probly got sumping to do w/ hit + surely don't help to drink, or at least the sauce masks it... all those times we felt hungover when we'd only had 2 drinks makes us wonder if it was really this all along? Like perhaps the vertigal bout back in 2012 (again, the usefoolness of this hear journull for refrence sake)(... tho seams never did we menshunn the ear problems we started to halve last year except this post where we refeered to 'em as voices we herd in our noggin... guess dat's the problem when we dont rite in concise lenguage dat we can go back + search, w/ agreed upon terms + spilling.)

We ain't bin so productive on account of these ailments + just feeling geneuley outta sorts cuz our bedder-½ aint here (still in Dublin)... mostly we bin ordering stuff + following direxions from Akbar + Jeff (the androgynous creatures in the wordless IKEA instruxions)(any 1 younger than 40 (or that hasn't suffered thru a few pieces of IKEA furniture in their lifetime)) probly don't know what the hell we're talking about, but The Simpsons wd never be if it weren't for Akbar + Jeff).

+ Craigslist just ain't what it used to be, mostly scammers w/ weird names wondering if they can pay w/ certified check + send movers to pick up the stuff for them. Or regular folk that just want shit for free or next to nada. Utter than dat shopping around for lights + blinds + whatnot on Inurnet + sending samples to our bedder-½... probly like that scene in Lost in Translation, where our bedder-½ is Bill Murray wondering for the life of her what the hell all these interior decorating samples her casalingo is sending her gots to do w/ anything.

29 April> Din't have nada to dream last night, not much to sleep neither. Still feeling dizzy + nauseous, generally in a fog, not sure what's wrong w/ us. Yesterday walked to Georgetown to look at shades, thru Dunbarton Oaks on the trails we use to run. DC is perty no doubt about dat, don't have to go to far before u sorta feel like you're in "nature." Pass within an armslength of deer + they don't even run away from u. Saw "Judi Densch," dat homeless lady we used to always see sitting on the same bench, still sitting on the same bench after all these years, her hair a little whiter + longer (was buzz-cut last time we saw her). She had her hand down her pants playing w/ herself, laughing + smiling. Sum kids were playing on the grass in front of her. Lots of dogs. Walking thru the hoods, a NYer might say it's kinda sterile, but on the other hand it's quiet sivilized, clean, sorta like an uber-modern city, millenials zipping around on scooters, zebra X-ings dat cars actually obey + sidewalks... a nice change from Rome where walking around u risk instant death or dismemberment at any moment. Every 1 hear mellow + friendly, smell of pot smoke + flowers + mulch.

641 <( current)>  643 > I see a purple door (on the Country House horse) + want to paint it red (for Frank Sobotka)
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